Feel the beat
by RicchanxMio
Summary: Natsuki, a girl that lost nearly everything, meets Shizuru, a girl that could die every minute. Natsuki swore that she would never let a person into her heart again but she somehow feels drawn to the chestnut haired beauty. Then she makes a promise that could change everything she ever believed in.. and both of their lives. Yuri!
1. Chapter 1

**Edited! I put more spaces into it.**

Hello everyone! :)

That's my first Mai HiMe ShizNat fic.. My first language isn't English so please bear with me. I'm still searching for a beta, soo.. if you are interested, feel free to tell me :D  
>The idea of the story has been on my mind for quite a while now and I just needed to write it down or it wouldn't stop to bother my thoughts.. ;)<br>At the end of the chapter is another A/N - please read it! ;)

The rating is probably going up with the next chapters (I guess I don't have to tell you why..^^) You have been warned. :D  
>The characters could seem a little out of character.. though, I tried my best to not let it be to devious!<br>Okay, enough talk, I hope that you'll enjoy! :)

Sadly, I don't own anything! -_-

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><p>Emerald eyes opened slowly and focused on the surroundings. It's completely dark, the only light came from the red letters of an alarm clock on the nightstand. Nothing could be heard, only the slight breathing of the person in the room. She sighed and climbed out of the king sized bed, strolling to the bathroom and switching on the light.<p>

04:37 A.M.. nearly two and an half hours before the alarm is going to ring. I guess that's it with sleep for the night, _again._  
>Natsuki sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. Dark circles around her eyes and dull emeralds stared back. Her skin nearly as pale as the wall behind her.<br>I really should consider taking sleeping pills. But then.. Nah, who cares. I wonder if she is there already..

The blunette splashed cold water into her face, brushed her teeth and straightened her hair as good as possible. She left her apartment, missing breakfast again and headed towards her motorcycle - a blue Ducati Streetfighter 848. It's the only thing she bought for herself after her mother died. The bike meant everything to her.  
>When she turned on the engine, she smiled. The sound and the feeling of her treasure always had that affect on her. She carefully pulled it out of the parking lot and put on her helmet. She didn't want to wear her protective clothing, so she drove off without turning back.<p>

Natsuki saw her goal after only fifteen minutes. Normally, you would need at least 25 minutes to get here. But due to the early hour and her driving style, she reached it faster. The sign above the entrance read 'Fuka City Hospital'. She parked her bike and entered the building, her face devoided of any emotion.

The nurse at the front desk looked up and just smiled, everyone here knew her. She just nodded and continued her way inside the building, taking the stairs to the third floor. The blunette disliked elevators like other people disliked ghosts or cockroaches.

Before she opened the door that led to the claimed floor, the black letters caught her attention. She entered through here nearly every day and always stared at them for a few seconds, before leaving them behind her, at the cold metal door. 'Internal medicine'..

The biker walked down the corridor, knowing exactly where she had to go.

"Natsuki?"

The blunette spun around "Yohko-sensei?" A middle aged woman with chin-long, wavy brown hair and a lab coat approached her

"how are you, Natsuki?"

said woman answered without a motion of her face "I'm fine."

"I see.. Are you visiting Mai-chan again?"

"Yeah. Is she here?"

"It's only five A.M. and you are asking me if a young woman is at the hospital on a Monday?" The doctor arched a brow.

"Yeah? So.. is she?"

Yohko sighed and nodded slowly "of course. I guess it would be a wonder, if she wasn't here.."

Natsuki gave the doctor a short nod "thanks."

"You're welcome. Say-"

"Sagisawa-sensei!" a nurse appeared beside them "the new patient is awake now. She woke up about 15 minutes ago and is already able to sit again."

Yohkos face became professional again "that's good. I will be there immediately."

"Okay" the nurse turned around and hurried away.

Natsuki stared into blue eyes "new patient?"

"Yes, she came here yesterday. She's a year older than you and her condition isn't as bad as Takumi-kuns. But I guess that's only a matter of time.. I should get going. Do you want to come with me? Her room is right next to Takumi-kuns."

"Sure.."

They walked both in silence down the corridor until Yohko stopped in front of the door next to Takumis room.

"Maybe you could stop by here sometime. Due to her condition, she doesn't have friends. It would be good, if she could socialize with someone."

Natsuki snorted "Yeah, sure. _Me_ socialize with someone. Be serious, Yohko."

The doctor frowned "I am.. See you, Natsuki."

The brunette opened the door and Natsuki caught a glimpse of tawny and crimson staring at her. She froze and felt something twist within her stomach. Yohko closed the door and the girl sitting on the hospital bed disappeared with her.  
>Natsuki placed her hand on top of her stomach and frowned slightly. Strange.. What was that? I've never felt something like this before.. Nah, I must be hungry. I haven't eaten in a few days. I guess Mai is expecting me already.<p>

The blunette quietly opened the next door and entered the room. A night light burned and bathed the place in a warm, caramel colored air. A orange-haired girl with violet eyes looked up from the chair she sat on.

"Natsuki?" She looked surprised and stood up "what are you doing here already?"

"'Morning Mai. I woke up early and thought I would come by. Don't have anything to do."

Mai approached the bluentte and crossed her arms below her busty chest. "I told you to sleep. You look terrible!"

"Yeah, yeah" Natsuki waved her hand in front of her face "how is he?" Her emerald orbs focused on the boy laying on the bed

"he slept through the night. It's getting better every hour since the last attack."

"I see.."

Mai frowned and eyed Natsuki "what happened?"

The blunette stiffened and returned to look at the orange-haired girl "what do you mean?"

"when you entered the room, you looked confused." "Nothing. I just met Yohko-sensei. She told me I should socialize with the new girl next to Takumis room. You know I don't like doing stuff like that."

Violet eyes stared at the ceiling and Mai lifted her index finger to her chin "I think, you should do it."

Natsukis eyes widened and she stood agape "_What_?!"

"Shh! Don't talk so loud! You are going to wake Takumi up!"

Natsuki felt heat rush to her cheeks and mumbled a "sorry.." emeralds glanced at curious violets. "You know that I am not good with stuff like that. Socialize. Yeah, sure.. I've got a friend. I don't need more than one."

Mai smiled lightly "I'm honored. But you should try it. Just say hello. If you don't like her, you don't have to meet her again, you know."

"The blunette winced "Mai!"

"You got to know me too. You can do it."

Natsuki snorted. She remembered the day she got to know Mai like it was yesterday.

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><p><em>eight year old Natsuki clutched her little stuff dog and crept through the corridors of the hospital. Her mother had to go to an emergency and she tried to bridge the time until she came back.<br>_  
><em>She was used to being alone. She had been alone as long as she remembered. Her only friend had been her dog, Duran. He died a few weeks ago, run over by a truck. Her mother gave her the little stuff animal in return, so that she wouldn't be all alone. But.. The little plush toy couldn't replace her friend. It didn't 'talk' with her, it didn't show her that it loved her, it was only warm, when she held it for some time.<br>_  
><em>No one was able to spend time with her, the nurses and other doctors had work to do. Natsuki looked around, no one even realized her. She hasn't been that lonely for a while. I'm not going to cry. I don't cry. I don't want to be a burden. I'm a big girl! Big girls don't cry. Natsuki felt a tear in the corner of her eye and heard sobbing noises.<br>_  
><em>Sobbing? The little girl touched her cheek and tried to wipe her tears away, but there weren't any. I'm not crying.. I'm not.. Who is crying? She twisted her head, searching for the source.<br>_  
><em>There. In the middle of the corridor stood a girl, orange hair hung in front of her face and her little hands frantically rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from pouring down.<br>_  
><em>Natsuki slowly approached the girl, gripping her stuff dog a little tighter. <em>_She stopped a foot away from the crying girl and bit her lower lip, not knowing what she should do. She never saw someone cry like that. _

_"H-Here." She pushed her plush toy between the girls arms and looked away. _

_The sobbing stopped and the girl lifted her head. Her puffy violet eyes showed surprise and she slowly grabbed the dog. "Thank you.." she tilted her head to the sight and eyed the blunette interrogative. _

_"N-Natsuki. I'm Natsuki." _

_"Thank you, Natsuki-san. My name is Mai, Mai Tokiha. Nice to meet you." She extended her hand, waiting for the other girl to shake it. _

_Natsuki skeptically eyed the offered hand but took it after a few seconds "only Natsuki." _

_"What?" _

_"Just call me Natsuki. I don't like honorifics.." _

_The orange head smiled brightly, seemingly forgetting the reason she cried "then I'm just Mai." _

_A small smile crept its way to Natsukis face "nice to meet you too, Mai."_

* * *

><p>That's been nearly twelve years ago. Mais brother Takumi collapsed for the first time and was hospitalized. The young girl was afraid because no one would tell her what happened to her little brother. Natsuki met her nearly every day till then and they became best friends. Natsukis mother died three years later, Mai has been the only person Natsuki spoke to at that time. She convinced the blunette to speak with Yohko about the accident because the little girl was with her mother at that time. Natsuki never told someone how it happened, how the car crashed through the guardrail and into the sea.<p>

"Natsuki?"

said woman blinked "huh?"

"stop dreaming, I said I will go with you."

"With me?" emerald eyes narrowed "where to?"

"The girl Yohko-sensei mentioned."

"Why?"

"Because you need to know more people. Yohko-sensei has been here a minute ago, you didn't even notice her, did you?"

"No.."

"We talked a little about the girl. She told me that she doesn't have friends, just like you.."

"I have a friend!" Natsuki argued

"I know, I know. But it would be good for you to have more people to talk to, you know. Sometimes a little change isn't that bad."

"I like everything the way it is."

Mai crossed her arms again and stared at Natsuki for a moment "really? You like it that you aren't sleeping, that you aren't eating, that you are alone most of the time?"

The blunettes face hardened "is that what you think about me? A lonely girl that is drowning in her own sorrow? Her own self?"

Mais face softened "Natsuki.."

said woman turned around and rushed to the door "you know what, forget it Mai."

with that, she opened the door and dashed away. She heard Mai shout her name before she was out of earshot.

Stupid Mai! I'm not lonely! I'm.. I'm.. Maybe a little.. Argh! Natsuki ruffled her hair. She knows exactly that I don't like to talk about stuff like that! I know all of that.. I know it.. But it's not that easy to change something. I'm afraid.. Everytime something changed, I fell deeper in the darkness because afterwards, something terrible happened. I think I wouldn't be able to stand another blow. The blunette closed her eyes and leaned against the nearest wall, letting her head fall against it. I should head back. I know that she didn't want to offend me. It's just.. I don't know what to do.. Natsuki pushed herself off from the wall and slowly walked back towards Takumis room.

She stopped when she saw Mai walk into the room next to Takumis. What is she doing?  
>Natsuki slowly made her way towards the room and pressed herself against the wall next to the door. It stood slightly open and she could hear Mai talking to the foreign girl.<p>

"I heard that my brother's got the same disease as you.. I know that it's a little rude to ask that, but how do you live with it? How do you.. You know, spent your free time when everyone is doing things that you can't do? I always try to make life as good as possible for Takumi, but I don't want him to overstrain himself."

Natsuki could hear the uneasiness in Mais voice, but she knew that Mai is searching for a way to make life as enjoyable as possible for her brother. She's trying that as long as Natsuki knew her. The blunette tried to understand what the other girl answered, but it was to low for her to hear it.

"I see.. You know, I've got a friend. She's a little like you. Yohko-sensei wanted her to meet you because I am the only friend she ever had. She thought that you two would understand each other beause of that. But.. She is afraid. Afraid of the future, of something new. I think that she is lonely all the time, but she never tells me. She always tries to make me feel at ease, to comfort me. I want to do the same for her, but I can see it in her eyes. I can see the emptiness. I never managed to fill it.."

Natsuki felt her heart ache. She knew that Mai always tried to distract her, and she knew that she always tried to play along. I know that I never managed to fool her.. But I never knew, that it bothered her so much.. The blunette felt the start of a headache and a little dizzy. Geez.. Mai shouldn't talk like that..

"Probably. I still hope that she will find her happiness. That she will find a person that loves her the way she is. Unconditionally. A person that is able to dispose of her sorrow. She is my best friend after all."

Natsuki closed her eyes, the headache became stronger and the dizziness let her stagger a little. I guess I will tell her that I'm grateful for everything she did.  
>The blunette opened the door and entered the room. Violet and crimson focused on her<p>

"Hi." Natsuki felt herself being drawn to the crimson once again. Those eyes.. I've never seen.. something this beautiful..

The crimson eyed girl smiled and eyed Natsuki "hello. And who might you be?"

This voice.. The blunette felt her vision blur "Natsuki.."

"Natsuki-chan? That's a lovely name."

"Natsuki? What are you doing here?"

Emerald met violet for a second and then returned to crimson "I've been looking for you."

The tawny haired woman smirked "ara, for me?"

The knot in Natsukis stomach returned and it felt like her head would split every second now. She grimaced in pain and her hand grabbed her head. She could see the smile on the crimson eyed girls face falter and felt herself slowly topple over.

"Natsuki?!"

The last thing Natsuki saw before darkness overwhelmed her, were the worried crimsons she felt herself drown in.

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><p><strong>AN:** That's the edited chapter. I only put spaces into it, soo.. There still are Errors. I'm sorry. But I hope you were able to enjoy it a little more like that - that is, if you enjoyed it at all.^^  
>Please leave a Review! :)<p>

Chapter songs:

Writing poems - Ludovico Einaudi (Natsukis flashback)

**Crawling - Linkin Park lyrics (Natsukis theme):**

Crawling in my skin  
>These wounds, they will not heal<br>Fear is how I fall  
>Confusing what is real<p>

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
>Consuming, Confusing<br>This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending  
>Controlling, I can't seem<p>

to find myself again  
>My walls are closing in<br>_Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced _  
><em>that there's just too much pressure to take<em>  
>I've felt this way before<br>So insecure

Crawling in my skin  
>These wounds, they will not heal<br>Fear is how I fall  
>Confusing what is real<p>

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
>Distracting, Reacting<br>Against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
>It's haunting how I can't seem...<p>

to find myself again  
>My walls are closing in<br>_Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced _  
><em>that there's just too much pressure to take<em>  
>I've felt this way before<br>So insecure

Crawling in my skin  
>These wounds, they will not heal<br>Fear is how I fall  
>Confusing what is real<br>Crawling in my skin

These wounds, they will not heal  
>Fear is how I fall<br>Confusing, confusing what is real  
><em>There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface <em>  
><em>Consuming<em>  
>Confusing what is real<br>_This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending _  
><em>Controlling<em>  
>Confusing what is real<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone! :)

I'm really happy about your reviews and tried to put more spaces into this chapter.. I hope it's a little bit better now :)  
>If you have more tips for me, feel free to say them!<p>

I'm still searching for a beta.. So, until than you have to bear with the grammar, sorry!

The characters are a little out of character, but I try my best to not make them too OCC.  
>I don't want to rush anything, that should explain the slow progress..<p>

So, enough talk, on with the story! Enjoy!

I still don't own anything.. if I would, I'm sure it would be definitely ShizNat centric..^^

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><p><em><strong>Drip!<strong>_

_Huh? Where am I? I've been searching for Mai.. _  
><em>Mai. Where is she? What happened? I can't see.. Why is it so dark? "Hello?!"<em>  
><em>I remember. The hospital, Yohko-sensei.. socialize..<em>  
><em>Crimson..<em>

_**Drip!**_

_Crimson.. Those eyes.. so deep.. yet so hollow.. just like.. me? Maybe Yohko-sensei has been right.. I should open up a little, but.. _

_**Drip!**_

_What's that sound? It's just like.. Back then.._

_"haha! It can't even walk straight!" _

_Natsuki spun around. In front of her stood a group of elementary school children. They were laughing and some even pointed their index finger at her. The blunette froze "it can't be.." _

_"talking to yourself again, misfit? You really are strange! My mother told me that I shouldn't get involved with you. You only cause trouble. I guess that you don't have a father because he hates you. Who would love someone like you?" _

_Emeralds stared at the floor. Natsuki no longer saw her nineteen year old self, she became small again, only seven years old. Her clothes were soaked and her fists clenched. They had pushed her into the fountain again. The water ran down her knuckles and dripped to the floor, causing the annoying sound. _

_"Are you even a girl? You always wear boy clothes. You want to be a boy, don't you? You gross me out!" _

_Natsuki pressed her palms against her ears, trying to ignore the calls. The young girl fell to her knees and closed her eyes, rocking back and forth._

_"Misfit!" "Gross!" "Misfit!"_

_The blunette tried to ignore them, tried to ignore their bullying. "NO!"_

_Suddenly, the laughing stopped and was replaced by the loud sound of creaking tires. Emeralds dared to open and were greeted by the scene of the setting sun. The sky shined in the brightest red and orange the girl had ever seen._  
><em>But the peaceful sight didn't last long. She realized the screams of her mother and the sky turned into the fast approaching sea. The water crashed against the front shield and the car slowly started to sink.<em>

_"Natsuki! Open the door and get out of here!" _

_The now eleven year old paniced and pushed as hard as possible against the door. It didn't budge at all._

_"Hurry up, Natsuki!" _

_The girl turned around, her emerald orbs widened and her face paled. Her mothers legs were crushed by that, what was left from the front of the car._

_"Momma!"_

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><p>"Mum!" Natsuki shot up, her eyes frantically searched the room and her head begun to spin because of the sudden movement.<p>

"Hey, steady!"

Is that Mai?.. The blunettes eyes started to focus again. She lay on the couch of an hospital room. The worried looking orange haired girl kneeled beside her, a hand on her shoulder to stabilize the still dizzy emerald eyed girl.

"Are you alright, Natsuki?" Violet eyes tried to find a injure on the older girl in front of her.

"Yeah.. somehow.. What happened?" The blunette scanned the room. She spotted a certain crimson-eyed girl on the hospital bed staring at her.

"You came in here and suddenly collapsed. Yohko-sensei said that you need rest and that you should definitely eat more.. You lost some weight since she last checked your health.. What do you think you're doing, Natsuki? You should take better care of yourself!" Mais motherly side started to show again. She attained that habit over the years, while watching over Takumi and somehow, her too.

"Sorry.. But what am I doing here?" Natsuki asked curious. Her slender brows furrowed and emeralds - once again - stared across the room at the tawny haired girl. Those eyes.. I wonder what she's hiding within the depths.. I've never seen someone as captivating as her.

"That's something _I _should ask _you_." Mais voice distracted Natsuki and her gaze returned to the orange haired girl. The blunette recalled the last moments before she passed out and a tint of red flew across her face.

"I came to apologize.. I lost it and overreacted a little.." the apology was a mere mumble and the biker thought that the floor was rather interesting all of a sudden. Because of that, she missed the caring smile of her best friend.

"It's okay. I know that you.. don't like that subject. So, I guess I also should say sorry to you. But now that you are here, I can introduce you to Fujino-san." Mai smiled brightly and turned around, waving her hand towards the other occupant of the room.

Crimson met emerald and Natsuki saw a smirk forming on the other girls face. "Ara, I hope you didn't hurt yourself, Natsuki-chan. That fall looked rather dangerous." The blunette saw something sparkle within the crimson of the tawny haired girl and felt heat rush to her face once again. What was it with those damned blushes?

"Natsuki" the biker answered. "Just Natsuki. I don't like those honorifics." The blunette watched the smirk turn into a smile.

"Then I'm just Shizuru. But tell me, Natsuki, why did you collapse after entering my room?" An elegant, tawny brow raised and the crimson eyed girls face turned into something nearly serious.

Natsukis gaze wandered to the floor once more. "Dunno.. I guess I didn't sleep well last night.. Just got a little dizzy." This floor is rather interesting.. Is that Linoleum? Oh, there's a fuzz! God.. Who am I kidding? Staring at the floor like a child who got caught with the hand in the cookie-jar and searching for a fluff!

The blunette felt the couch sink in to the weight of another person next to her. The biker lifted her head to see Mais concerned look. Will I ever be able to erase that look from her face?..

"Natsuki.. Promise me, that you will sleep tonight. That you are not going to come here before 11 A.M. tomorrow" Natsuki couldn't stand the pleading look in those violet eyes.

"I'll try it.." the blunette felt a hand on her shoulder

"No, don't _try_ it, Natsuki. _Do_ it!" Mai squeezed the bikers shoulder and stood up, turning her attention to the now silent Shizuru. "May I ask you to look after her for a little, Fujino-san? I don't want her to wander around like this and I have to check on Takumi. I would take her with me, but I don't want her to leave that couch right now. I know it's quite rude, but-"

Shizuru lifted her hand to cut Mai off "no, it's alright. I understand. Go and check on Takumi-kun. I'm sure I can keep an eye on her." Crimson met emerald and Shizuru smirked at the blunette. "Am I allowed to use force, if she isn't listening?" the tawny haired girls eyes twinkled.

"Yes." Mai didn't seem to notice and turned to leave, glancing at Natsuki once more with a look that said 'I dare you to object her!'. She silently closed the door after exiting.

Silence filled the hospital room and the blunette sighed and stood up herself. "Thank you for convincing her, I'll take my leave now." Natsuki reached for the door knob when she was interrupted by a dangerous throat clearing.

"Ara, where do you think you are going? I promised Mai-san to keep an eye on you, hence I can't let you go." Amusement jingled in every word she spoke.

The blunette spun around, raising a slender brow "are you serious?"

"I don't understand why I shouldn't. I promised her. So please, take a seat and accompany me. Do you want to drink something?"

Natsuki looked confused for a second. She can't be serious, right?! Shizuru seemed to be more than serious. The blunette sighed "I guess that you don't have coffee or a coke?"

Tawny hair danced around a creamy face and neck as Shizuru shock her head "I'm sorry. But I'm sure I could get you a cup of tea."

"No, I'll pass, thanks. Maybe some water?" Natsuki moved back to the couch and spotted a chair next to Shizurus bed before sitting down. She glanced at the brunette and to the chair again.

"Yes, I will get you some water." Shizuru noticed the glance and followed her to the chair "would you like to come here and take a seat next to me? It's a little odd to talk with you while you are at the end of the room."

The blunette slowly made her way to the chair and sat down "so, what do you want to do, now that I'm stuck with you?"

Shizuru raised a slender brow and smirked a little bit "Ara, I wouldn't say that I'm _stuck_ with you. Maybe Natsuki could tell me a little about herself while I order her water?" The tawny haired girl reached for a remote and pressed a button.

The blunette frowned "about myself? Why would you want to know something about a stranger?"

"Because she isn't a stranger anymore when she tells me a little about herself."

Natsuki thought about that for a second "I guess you're right. But what about you tell me a little about you? I think that you're story is more interesting than mine.."

Shizuru raised both eyebrows "Story? I wouldn't compare my life with a story. But I will tell you something about me, if you ask the right question." The girl smirked again.

Natsuki leaned back into her chair, finding it rather comfortable. "The _right_ question? What's that supposed to mean?"

They were interrupted when a nurse opened the door and entered, looking at Shizuru "you called, Fujino-sama?"

Said woman turned her attention to the nurse "yes. I would like to ask for a cup of tea and some water please."

The nurse nodded "I will bring it right away" with that, she left the room again.

Crimson focused on emerald "yes, the right question. Try it."

The blunette leaned forward and propped her elbow on her thigh, rubbing her temple "could the day get anymore confusing?.. Okay." She raised her head "Your voice. You've got an interesting accent. Where do you come from?"

Shizuru smirked "that's not the _right_ way to ask a question, but I will let it slip this once. I'm from Kyoto. I came here a few years ago. Due.. to my condition. What about you? Mai-san spoke like you come here everyday. Is there someone important here?"

Natsuki stiffened "I don't have someone like that." Her voice had a sharp edge to it's sound.

The Kyoto-born frowned "What-"

The door opened and the nurse entered again, holding a tablet with tea and water "where should I put it, Fujino-sama?"

The tawny haired girl pointed to the nightstand beside her "please, place it there."

The nurse nodded and placed the tablet on the said nightstand. She poured tea into a cup and handed it to Shizuru, the crimson eyed girl smiled and took a sip "it's good." The nurse smiled "thank you. Here, your water." She handed the glass with the seemingly cold water to the blunette. A drop of condensed water run down the jar and stopped on the tip of Natsukis index finger. The emerald eyed girl seemed too absorbed in her thoughts to notice.

"Thanks.." was all the biker was able to mumble before she took a gulp that emptied half of the glass.

"Natsuki seems rather thirsty. I wonder.. Is she hungry? I don't have soemthing to eat here.." Crimson wandered to the drop of water that played with the blunettes index finger.

"No.. I'm not hungry. I probably wouldn't even be able to take a bite.." the last part was a mere mumbling.

"I understand. Would Natsuki care for another subject to talk about? I've got a few magazines here."

The bikers mood brightened up instantly. "You've got some motorcycle or sports magazines too?"

Shizuru tried to prevent a giggle. "Sure, come a little closer. It's hard to read them with you while you are over there."

Natsuki blushed and gulped down the rest of her glass. An attempt to hide her quite red face. "O-Okay.." She moved her chair a little closer to the bed and rested her elbow on the edge of Shizurus bed "where are those magazines?"

The brunette flinched a little at the sudden closeness. "Could Natsuki wait for a minute? I will get them right away." She leaned over and pulled a sports magazine out of the drawer beside her bed and placed it between them. "I hope that is going to brighten Natsukis mood a little."

Said woman turned red once more and inwardly cursed her face for playing traffic light. "I _am_ in a good mood." was the grumbled reply.

The crimson eyed girl beside her giggled "if Natsuki says so."

"I-Idiot. Open up that damned magazine already.." the blunette stared persistently at the cover and didn't say anything else.

They went through the magazine in silence. Shizuru sometimes asked a question when there was something she didn't understand and Natsuki patiently explained it.

"Natsuki, what is a 'dunk'?" The brunette got no response "Natsuki?" she turned her head to the said woman and a small smile graced her face. Her head was propped in the palm of her hand and her mouth was slightly open. Soft breath escaped through parted lips and her eyes were closed. She stirred a little and her head fell on top of the blanket.

"She must be really tired if she isn't going to wake up from a fall like that.." long, creamy fingers brushed through midnight blue tresses. "You really are an interesting one.. Goodnight, Nat-su-ki."

Natsuki slowly opened her eyes. That's been the first time in a long while that she slept without a dream corrupting her thoughts. She felt something on top of her head and shot up. Her widened eyes slowly regained focus and met twinkling crimsons. "Good morning, Natsuki. I hope you slept good on my bed?"

The blunette turned her shocked emeralds to the blanket and saw a little drooling mark. She turned redder than ever before and hurriedly rubbed the corner of her mouth. "I-Idiot!" Calm down, heart! What's wrong with you?!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please leave a review! :)**

Chapter Song:

**Ghost Lights - Woodkid:**  
><em>(The text describes Natsukis feelings. Those she's aware of and those she still has to realize and develop..)<em>

Waking up in a world  
>surrounded by flames<br>Where everything I liked is about to fade  
>How could you be the one if your not the same<br>If in the hands of gods you have lost your way

How ever fast I dance to make the sun shine  
>I will never fall down<br>No matter what it takes  
>I'll try to save the ghost lights<p>

How ever hard  
>I pray to remake you mine<br>I will never feel down  
>No matter what it takes<br>I'll try to save the ghost lights

Waking up in the fog the dust and the pain  
>And of the sunny days no traces remain<br>How could you be the one if you sail away  
>Without you I can'z stande the sound of the rain<p>

How ever fast I dance to make the sun shine  
>I will never fall down<br>No matter what it takes  
>I'll try to save the ghost lights<p>

How ever hard I pray to remake you mine  
>I will never feel down<br>No matter what it takes  
>I'll try to save the ghost lights<p>

How ever fast I dance to make the sun shine  
>I will never fall down<br>No matter what it takes  
>I'll try to save the ghost lights<p>

How ever hard I pray to remake you mine  
>I will never feel down<br>No matter what it takes  
>I'll try to save the ghost lights<p>

* * *

><p>I'm going to upload my other story next.. So it's going to take a while for the third chapter. Until then, I would be happy about a review! ;)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for the delay! I got stuck and didn't know how to go on with the story + I have been kind of lazy with the writing. But I have figured that out now. So thank you to everyone that is still here with me, I appreciate it!

Enough talk, on we go! :)

* * *

><p>"Natsuki? May I ask what you are doing here?"<p>

Confused emerald stared into curious crimson.

"What do you mean? Mai told me to stay here. That's what I'm doing." The blunette frowned and felt something twist within her stomach - again. That meant something is going to happen. Something she wouldn't like..

"Yes. That's true. But I was talking about the fact that you are at the hospital. Are you ill or something like that?"

"Ill? What are you tal- Oh! No. No, I'm not ill.. At least not in that way.." the last part was a mere whisper. "Anyway. I guess I should look what Mai is doing for so long. She should have been back some time ago." Natsuki stood up, stretched her tired muscles and started to head for the door.

"I'm sorry."

The biker stopped "Why? You didn't do anything, Shizuru."

"I offended you. It seems to be something you don't want to talk about. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked a question like that." Crimson eyes stared at the floor next to Natsuki. Her fists tightly clenched the sheet.

"No." The blunettes heart jumped "it's alright, I didn't mean it like that. I really just wanted to make sure that Mai is alright. I just want to make sure that nothing happened to Takumi.. It's.. I'm sorry. I'll see you."

The biker opened the door and left the room.

I told Mai that I would screw up! Damn it.. Natsuki leaned her back against the wall beside Shizurus door and closed her eyes. Heart condition huh.. I wonder.. would she still be this nice if she knew what I did to myself all this time? What I still _do_ to myself? She would probably hate me. Hate me because I'm throwing my life away like that while hers is running out.. I would trade it with her immediately. But I don't want her to experience what happened to me. She would still be better off the way everything is right now. Goood, how I hate my life!

"Natsuki?"

Said girl opened one eye and stared at the girl in front of her.

"Mai, I was just about to come over, looking if everything is okay, you know.. It's been quite some time since you left." the biker opened her second eye to properly look at the redhead in front of her.

"I know, I'm sorry! But Takumi got a new medication and I've gone through everything with the doctor. When I looked at the time I hurried here because I knew you would wait. But I didn't expect you to be out here. Did something happen in there?"

The blunette sighed at the worried look she got from Mai. "No. I just thought about where to look for you." Nice one Natsuki, she is sooo totally going to believe this. You couldn't even convince yourself with this stupid lie. "Besides, I told you to stop apologizing. It's not your fault, I understand. And it's getting on my nerves. Let's go, or you're going to be late again." Natsuki stepped away from the wall and started her way down the corridor, leaving something only she could feel behind her with every step she took.

"Hey, wait!" Mai ran to catch up with Natsuki and glanced at her friend "just so you know, you would also be too late again."

Unseen to Mai, something flashed through the emeralds of her friend and a small smile tucked at her lips, disappearing as fast as it appeared.

They arrived at school as the bell started ringing, grabbed their bags and ran to their first class together, just on time before the teacher entered the room.

Natsuki led herself to the empty chair beside the window in the back. Everyone knew that this place belonged to her, it didn't matter what classroom they were in. She threw her bag on the table and sat down, leaning her chin against the palm of her hand and stared out of the window, hoping that the class would be over soon.

* * *

><p>As soon as the last bell rang, Natsuki pushed her book and notes, with actually nothing written on, into her bag and nearly sprinted out of the classroom.<p>

She couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand the crowding in the floors, the stumbling into each other or the vulgar shouting and touching.

School has always been nothing but a waste of time. A waste, that she was willingly allowing to take over her day. It made the pain seem a little less. The hours ticked by without her wondering what to do all the time.

Natsuki reached her bike and put her bag away, she made herself comfortable on top and was about to start the engine when she heard her name.

"Natsuki!"

The blunette turned around and saw a flash of orange run her way.

"What's up Mai? I'm on my way home."

Said girl came to a stop in front of her and panted for a few seconds before she was able to form a whole sentence.

"I know." pant "I have work today and I was wondering if you could check on Takumi first.."

The biker opened her mouth to answer but Mai cut her off.

"And yeah I also know that you don't really want to go, but you just have to take a look into the room and text me to say if everything is all right. I'll go check on him as soon as I go off from work. Pretty please?"

"Okay."

"Please Natsuki, I will make you din- Okay? You'll do it? Really?!"

"I actually wanted to say okay after your first sentence, but you cut me off and I had to listen to all those unnecessary words. So, if you don't mind, I have to go check on someone." Natsuki put her helmet on and kicked her bike to life with a loud roar. She glanced one last time to her smiling friend and closed her visor before driving out of the parking lot.

I wonder if Shizuru's mad.. I kind of left her there and she just asked me a question. A question that actually made sense. I mean.. There should be a reason I go there so often. Who am I kidding. I go there every fucking day. And she is there every day.. I wonder if she would understand me. Would she go there every day? God, snap out of it Natsuki! She's just someone you met today. Focus. Takumi.

* * *

><p>Natsuki slowly turned the key to shut her engine off. Just go in there, check on him, and get out. Five minutes, top. She got off her bike and slowly walked into the hospital, her gaze glued to the floor, not daring to look left or right. The biker reached the door to the stairs and opened it, starting her usual way to her destination. Should I go and visit her? To apologize of course. The blunette played with the idea in her mind for a while, she only stopped when her hand grabbed the cold metal handle of the door to the floor that ruled her life. 'Internal medicine'. Her eyes bore into the black letters for a few seconds again before she forcefully pulled the door open and stepped through.<p>

Fortunately the whole corridor was empty and she made her way to Takumis room in record time. She quietly opened the door to Takumis room and thanked the hospital that every room had such good oiled frame joints.

Emeralds spotted the sleeping form of Mais little brother. His brown hair tousled and a small frown in place. The blunette picked up the check list from the beds frame and took a quick look at it, everything was fine. Mai would be more than happy to hear that. She gently placed it back where it belonged and left the room, sending a quick text to Mai to give her the requested update.

Natsuki turned around and started to head back the way she came from. Her feet stopped in front of a certain chestnut haired girls room and she let out a sigh before inhaling deeply and opening the door next to Takumis room.

"Shizuru?"

The older girl laid in her bed peacefully, eyes closed and hands folded above her stomach. Her breathing was deep and even, she was sleeping.

Natsuki was about to turn around and leave the room when an idea crossed her mind and she sat on the couch she woke up earlier.

"You know, I came here to apologize.. You just asked me a question and I kind of run off. It's a bad habit I can't control. You must've been curious, I understand that. But I don't know what to tell you. I don't really have a reason to be here. And I think I don't just mean to be in the hospital. I don't have a reason to BE. You would propably think I'm stupid by now, your time is running out and you weren't even able to life. All the things you could have done, you could have tried. And what about me? I'm sitting here, doing nothing but hoping that the years move by faster, that time actually would run out faster. I'm sorry that I left like that. Yohko told me that you don't have friends, at least not many. We're kind of alike in terms of that. So, I'm sorry for running out on you. I hope they are going to find a heart for you. Yohko told me that you need one too. I think she really should talk less about thinks that don't concern her."

A light chuckle escaped the bikers lips and she ran a hand through her dark blue tresses.

"I should get going, it's getting late.." She stood up, glanced at the sleeping form once more and went to open the door.

"Natsuki shouldn't run away again."

The soft voice made the blunette stop in her tracks. The biker stood there, not moving at all, hoping that she imagined the words.

"I wonder if she would like to accompany me for a while instead of standing there."

Natsuki slowly turned around, her eyes glued to the floor once more.

"How much?" her hair covered her face while her gaze still lingered on the floor.

"Excuse me?" The chestnut haired girls voice only held a hint of irritation.

"What did you hear?" Natsukis head snapped up and her emeralds bore into crimsons.

"Would you like to take a seat? We can talk for a while, now that you are here." Shizuru elegantly moved her hand to the chair beside her bed and smiled at Natsuki.

The blunette pondered to offer for a second before she slowly moved towards the chair beside the chestnut haired girl and sat down, looking everywhere but the girl in front of her

"I accept." The words were spoken quietly and Natsuki had to look at Shizuru to make sure she actually talked to her.

"You accept what?" The biker asked, her voice a little skeptical.

"Your apology. I understand that you have your reasons and I'm sorry for offending you. It wasn't my intention at all. I just hoped to talk to you for a little longer. As Yohko-sensei told you, I don't have many friends and being in the hospital all the time is really tiring. I appreciate every conversation. So please, let us talk for a while. I assume you went to school earlier. Tell me about it, please."

Natsuki stared into the crimson orbs of the girl in front of her, seeing nothing but curiosity and a hint of.. sadness? She sighed and tried to relax a little more into the chair.

"There's nothing to tell you. I don't really pay attention so.. I guess you should ask Mai about stuff like that. Not my domain at all. I checked on Takumi earlier, Mais little brother. I don't know what she told you about him, but he's a good kid. Too good most of the time. He always tries to ease Mais mind a little. She's worried about him all the time."

"Yes, she told me about him earlier. I think that I am going to meet him some time soon. Mai-san seemed really eager to introduce us."

Natsuki smirked "yeah, that definitely sounds like Mai, always trying to make friends. She's a people person, you know."

Shizurus eyebrows rose a little "people person? Would you mind elaborating that?"

"She likes to befriend all kind of people and she tries to build bonds between people everywhere. She thinks that everyone is good or at least has something good within. It's her way of offering a little peace to the people around her."

"Mai-san seems like a kind-hearted person."

"Oh, yeah, she definitely is. I think that's the reason she beard with me for so long. She's the one that's always trying to push me forward. I also think that she is the only one that still counts on me, everyone else gave me up a long time ago. It's good to know that at least one person is still looking out for you. Even if that person isn't me. She stopped me from drowning or getting lost in myself so often already, I lost count."

Natsuki felt something warm touch her hand and her eyes, that went down to the floor while telling Shizuru about Mai, saw a hand touch her own slightly.

"I don't really know you Natsuki, but you seem like a very kind and nice person to me. I am grateful that you have someone like Mai-san by your side. No one should be alone on this world. No one should bear with the pain and the demons that are walking around here everywhere."

Shizurus hand gave Natsukis a light squeeze. The blunette stared at Shizuru for a while, trying to process everything she said.

"I- uh.. Yeah, I think so. Thanks.. But, what about you? Would you mind telling me something about you? I kind of poured my heart out earlier. Without realizing that you've been awake. That was rude, by the way."

Shizuru chuckled lightly and smiled "I am sorry, but I didn't want to cut you off. You seemed so relieved to talk about all that. I hope you don't mind."

For a second, Natsuki felt something warm inside her and blushed a little, turning her head away so that the other girl wouldn't see it.

"Uh, thanks.. B-But enough about myself. Tell me about you, please." Really Natsuki? Really?! First you start to blush, _again!_ Then you stutter? Jezz, pull yourself together, you really aren't used to talk to someone else than Mai, Takumi or Yohko anymore.

Shizurus smile faltered, only if for a second. "There is not much to tell about myself. You probably know everything about me by now. I am a only child and I have been in the hospital most of my life. That is the reason I don't have many friends. I am also waiting for a new heart, just like Takumi. And you are right, there are many things I would like to do before I have to leave this world."

Shizuru still smiled at Natsuki, her sight never leaving the biker. And in that moment, Natsuki made a decision. A decision that probably is going to change her life, forever. She cleared her throat and sat up straight in her chair.

"Tell me. Tell me about the things you want to do, write them down somewhere if you want to, don't leave something out. Every little detail, every movie you want to watch, every country you want to see, every flower you want to touch, everything you want to feel, see and experience. Write it down, make a list. And I will help you to complete it. I don't care how much it's going to cost or take, I promise to make your life a good one."

Shizuru sat there, silence engulfing both of them, her smile disappeared and her eyes seemed glassy, the only thing making a sound right now was the 'tick-tock' from the clock above the door.

Natsuki grabbed Shizurus hand that still laid on top of hers "make that list, and I will make it come true."

Shizuru wasn't able to stop the tears from spilling any longer, she closed her eyes and let them fall freely for the first time since the doctors told her about her condition. Natsuki stood up and engulfed the girl in a gentle yet tight embrace, letting her emotions get the best of her.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think, it's been a few months ;)<p>

Chapter song: **Who you are - Jessie J**

I stare at my reflection in the mirror...  
>Why am I doing this to myself?<br>Losing my mind on a tiny error,  
>I nearly left the real me on the shelf ...<br>"no, no, no, no..."

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars!  
>Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,<br>It's okay not to be okay...  
>Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.<br>Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,  
>Just be true to who you are!<br>(who you are)

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?  
>I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!<br>The more I try the less is working yeah yeah yeah  
>'Cause everything inside me screams, "no, no, no, no..."<p>

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars!  
>Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,<br>It's okay not to be okay...  
>Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.<br>But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,  
>There's nothing wrong with who you are!<p>

Yes, No's, egos, fake shows  
>Like "woo", just go, and leave me alone!<br>Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,  
>With a smile ...<br>That's my own! (that is my own) "no, no, no, no..."

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars!  
>Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,<br>It's okay not to be okay...  
>Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.<br>Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,  
>Just be true to who you are!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you so much for all the reviews! They were awesome! And all the **Guests**, **RK** and **Lee kun**, I would have personally thanked you, but you have to be registered here.. So it will have to do like this, thanks so much guys! :)  
>And special thanks to <strong>MapleColours<strong>, your review nearly made my eyes water, it meant a lot!

But I don't want to hold you up any longer, on we go!

* * *

><p>The bold red letters read 2 A.M. Natsuki closed her eyes again and sighed. She made a promise yesterday. A promise that she had to keep. She never broke a promise before, and she definitely wouldn't start it now.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Natsuki held the crying girl a little longer, her tears coming to an end after a few minutes.<em>

_"I am sorry, I never cried like that before. I will make sure that your shirt is going to be washed and cleaned." Shizuru stared at the stains she left on Natsukis sweater. _

_"What? Oh! Nah, don't bother, I'll just throw it into the washing machine. That's perfectly fine. And it's going to dry anyway, so, yeah. Don't bother." The blunette smiled at the chestnut haired girl and cleared her throat after a few seconds._

_"Soo.. about that list.. I meant it." Her emeralds bore into the crimsons before her. _

_"Do it, write it down and give it to me. You can have as much time as you want. But I want to get it soon, okay? We don't want to lose too much time, do we?" Natsuki smiled at the girl in front of her and only turned her gaze away as someone knocked on the door._

_She stood up and grabbed the helmet she left on the couch as she walked in. "I should get going, I will come back tomorrow to check on you and see if you already started. See you, Shizuru."_

_The biker opened the door and gave Yohko, who was about to enter the room, a short nod before walking down the corridor, starting her way back home._

* * *

><p>That's been more than seven hours ago and the blunette still lay there, trying to sleep, like every day.<p>

But this time, it was different, her mind wandered back to the promise every few minutes, banning the usually present demons. She just met the girl today and already promised her, kind of, everything..

The biker sighed once more, kicked her sheets away and sat up, her hand moving through her midnight tresses while the other limply lay above her left thigh.

"What do I do.." She moved out of the bed and went through the dark room, searching for her laptop. She saw the silhouette on the table and pushed the power-button. Natsuki turned her head away and closed her eyes for a second as the bright display came to life. She sat down on the chair in front of the table and waited until the laptop started completely.

The blunette checked the available WLAN connections and quickly hacked into the best one, opening a browser right after. Natsuki paused for a second. What exactly am I searching for?.. She stared at the screen for a minute until her fingers started to type something.

_'activities with heart condition'_ 38.800.000 matches.. I hope there is at least one useful information there..

An hour later and Natsuki started a list of her own, she wrote down everything that seemed important. By the time she underlined her first point on the list, her head, that gently rested in her palm, slumped forward and landed on her arm, the pen drew a line across the paper and dropped out of her hand.

* * *

><p>"Beep! Beep! Beep!"<p>

The blunette shot up and frantically searched the room, trying to find what had disturbed her sleep. The clock on the bedside table read 6 A.M. She got up and shut it down, staring at it for a few seconds before smashing it against the wall. The loud crash woke her up completely and the biker gathered her clothes and a towel and entered the shower.

She closed her eyes as the cold water met her face and cascaded down her body.

* * *

><p><em>"Momma!"<em>

_"Please Natsuki, get out! Please!" Her mother frantically pushed against the steering wheel, trying to get her legs out of the metal huddle. She cried in agony and anger as she realized that she wouldn't get out of there any time soon. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down, something that wasn't really possible in a situation like that. But she had to get her daughter out of here! She bore down a sob and gently grabbed Natsukis small face._

_"Listen carfully, Natsuki. You have to get out of here, open the window, there will be water, a lot of water is going to come in here. Loose your seatbelt and do not, no matter the cause, stop to open the window. You have to climb out and swim to the surface as fast as possible."_

_Her daughter cried hysterically and shock her head, eyes closed and tiny hands tightly grabbing hold of her mothers bigger ones on her face._

_"Natsuki. Do you understand?"_

_The eleven year old continued to shock her head. She didn't want to leave her mother, the only family she had._

_"Please, I beg you Natsuki, you have to get out!"_

_"NO! I don't want to, mama! I'm not going to leave you!"_

_Saeko wasn't able to hold the tears any longer and gently kissed her daughters forehead. She knew what she was about to do was terrible, but the only way to get her little baby out of here._

_"Who said you are going to leave me? You are just going on ahead, you swim up there and get me help, okay? You just have to be really fast. Do you understand?"_

_The small girl sniffeled and wiped her eyes, she slowly nodded her head and locked eyes with her mother. They held so much innocence and determination at the same time that Saekos heart broke at the thought of her daughter alone out there. But she would be alive, and that was the only thing that mattered right now._

* * *

><p>Natsuki opened her eyes and sighed as the images flowed her mind once more. She couldn't stand it. Every time she saw a lake or the sea, everything just came crashing back. She used to love water, it was so fascinating, it could be everything you needed it to be. If you were cold, you took a hot bath, if you were too hot, you put ice cubes into your drink. You can play with it, it keeps you alive. But what destroyed every happy feeling she ever had towards that fascinating thing, was the fact that it could hurt. It was used intentionally against people to hurt them, in every way possible. And it hurt her, it hurt her so bad, that she would probably never be able to go take a bath again, go to the beach again..<p>

The biker sighed once more and turned off the water. She got ready for the day in less than ten minutes and grabbed her bag and keys before leaving the apartment.

* * *

><p>Natsuki arrived at the hospital around 6:45 A.M. She went to the familiar staircase and lingered a second in front of the metal door before opening it and passing through.<p>

"Natsuki? You are later than usual, is everything okay?"

The blunette spun around and saw Yohko walking towards her.

"Yohko." She nodded her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I wanted to talk to you."

The doctor raised her eyebrows in surprise "you wanted to talk to me?"

The biker shifted her weight to her right leg and ran a hand through her hair.

"Yeah. You know, I've been wondering.. What can you do when you have a heart condition?"

Yohko squinted her eyes and stared at Natsuki "Why?"

"I'm just curious. Forget it, but thanks anyways." Natsuki turned around and started her way down to Takumis room once more.

"Wait. It depends. What kind of heart condition, how far it developed and what you want to do. There are things you can't do. But you actually have a lot of possibilities with the right preparations. I hope that was enough to answer your question."

The blunette stood there for a few seconds before, unseen to Yohko, a small smile appeared on her face. "Yeah, for now, thanks. I'll see you around."

She entered Takumis room and saw the boy sleeping, Mai beside him.

"'Morning Mai."

Violet shot up and crossed emerald "Natsuki! You're later than usual, did something happen? Are you alright?"

"Relax, everything is fine. I've done some research.. And I may or may not made a promise that is rather bold.."

Mai furrowed her brows and stood up "what do you mean? What did you do, Natsuki?"

"Nothing, really. Just.. You remember Shizuru, right?"

Mai gave a short nod.

"I told her to make a list.. About everything she wants to do. And that I would help her complete it.." Natsuki stared at the floor, waiting for Mais outburst.

"Natsuki! That's great!"

"Yeah, I know- Wait, what? You aren't angry? No screaming, scoulding?"

Mai looked surprised "why would I?"

"I don't know? Just because? Ah, never mind. I think I'll go and take a look. If she's alright and everything.. Soo, see you later Mai."

The blunette quickly opened the door and stepped through it

"What? W- Natsuki! Wait!" Mais voice stilled as soon as the door to Takumis room clunked shut.

Natsuki quickly made her way to the chestnut haired girls room and stepped through the door.

"Shizuru?" the biker saw Shizuru laying in her bed, back facing the door and the blanket laying around her waist. She quietly went to the other side of the bed to look at the girl. Her eyes were closed and her head rested peacefully on top of her pillow, both hands tucked underneath it. Her brows were a little furrowed and a few strands of hair fell out of place and in front of the sick girls face. Natsuki slowly lifted her hand and gently swept them behind her right ear. Her fingers carefully graced the skin while doing so.

She didn't even realize that she initiated contact with someone else as she felt the soft skin underneath her fingertips. She let her fingers wander across Shizurus face, slowly caressing her cheek, her jawline, back to her cheek and across her temple to the small frown. Natsukis index finger slid over the bump and down Shizurus nose. The biker knelt down beside the bed, fascinated by the other girl and rested her head on top of her left arm, her finger never leaving Shizurus face. She tried to ease the small frown and smiled a little bit when it worked.

* * *

><p>Everything around them was peaceful and Natsuki knelt there, completely forgetting about the time. An hour passed and her finger still caressed the other girls face. Only when she began to stir did Natsuki retread her finger and sat down on the chair behind her, watching the girl as she woke up. A light yawn escaped Shizurus lips and she blinked a few times before her eyes adjusted to the light inside the room and focused on the girl in front of her.<p>

"Hey." Natsuki said softly and smiled a little when she saw the sleepy look on the chestnut haired girls face.

"Good morning, Natsuki. May I ask what you are doing here?"

"I'm here to check on you, and see if you made any progress on the list, of course."

Shizuru eyed her for a moment before answering, her voice a little hoarse from sleeping "I see."

Natsuki sat up and her eyes softened a little "how are you?"

Shizuru moved to sit up as well, Natsuki stood up and helped her, moving the pillow behind her back, before she sat down again.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

"Do you want something? Water? Breakfast? I'll go and get it." The biker stood up once more and was about to head to the door when a soft hand grabbed her own and hold her in place.

"No, thank you. The nurse will be here shortly, you don't have to get me anything. But I would like to know what time it is?"

The blunette blushed a little at the warm and soft feeling against her hand, remembering the earlier events. "Sure.." Natsuki pulled out her phone to take a look at the clock and answered Shizurus question.

"It's a little after 8 A.M."

"Don't you have school today? You are going to be late, Natsuki!"

The biker smirked and sat down again "I'm already late, so, don't bother. It's nothing uncommon, nobody's going to miss me there. I'll just spend some time with you, we have a mission to complete, after all."

Shizurus brows furrowed a little "mission?"

Natsuki grinned at the girl before standing up and pulling a piece of paper out of the bag that rested beside her chair. "Yup! You are going to show me your list or we are going to start one right now."

"Natsuki, I really appreciate your actions, but you don't have to do that, there isn't anything that I could possibly do. And you really shouldn't neglect your school because of me."

"I know that I don't have to do it, but I want to. And I'm sure that I would be on the rooftop or somewhere else instead of going to class right now. So, tell me, what's the first thing on your mind that you want to do?" Natsuki eagerly grabbed a pen and stared at Shizuru, waiting for an answer.

"Natsuki.."

"I'm not going to school again until you tell me something you want to do." stated the blunette while crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow to accompany her point.

The chestnut haired girl stared at the biker for a while, before sighing and turning her head away slightly. "Tea ceremony. I would like to hold one.."

Natsuki didn't respond, so Shizuru turned around to look at her.

"Are you serious? A tea ceremony?" The blunette raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, why would I fool around in a situation like this?"

"I don't know.. I just- never mind. Tea ceremony it is! I'm going to arrange everything while you are going to eat breakfast. Understood?" The biker stood up and pressed the button to call the nurse "I'll wait until you have your breakfast and then I will be on my way."

Shizuru looked at the exposed skin on Natsukis stomach due to her leaning over the bed to press the call button. Her hip bones stood out way too much and her clothes loosely hung around her body.

"What did you eat for breakfast?" Crimson met emerald and Natsuki uneasily shifted her weight before scratching the back of her neck

"Nothing yet.. I'll grab something while I'm preparing everything for the tea ceremony."

"You can have breakfast with me. You said that you are going to wait until I have mine anyway, so please, be my guest. I haven't had breakfast with someone in a long time. You can see it as something on the list."

"I don't know, I think-" Natsuki was cut off by the nurse opening the door and coming in to check on Shizuru.

"How can I help you, Fujino-san? Is everything alright?"

The chestnut haired girl smiled at the woman and nodded her head. "Everything is fine, but I would like to ask for breakfast. Me and my friend are a little hungry, if that is alright?"

"Of course, I will be right back."

"Shizuru-"

"Breakfast will be here shortly, sit down with me, Natsuki."

The blunette sighed and slumped down in the chair once more "fine.. But I'll go and prepare everything right after, okay?"

Shizuru smiled "as Natsuki wishes."

The biker shock her head and smiled a little. "Idiot."

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><p>Chapter 4! I hope I can keep up the weekly updates now.. But I don't promise anything. Please tell me what you think about it!<p>

**I still need a chapter song.. Recommendations? I'll add it afterwards! Thanks in advance :)**


	5. Chapter 5

You guys are awesome! I really love your reviews! Thanks to all the **Guests** and **Lee kun** again! **lasolitaire**? I used google translater for your review. The result wasn't 100% correct, but I understood what you said and I have to say thank you very much! Special thanks to **MapleColours** again. Your reviews always make my day. I mean it!

And I'm sorry for the delay. It's going to stay like this for a while because of work.. But I'll try my best.

okay, enough talk, on we go!

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><p>3:45 P.M. she had to go and get Shizuru soon.<p>

Natsuki paced through the reorganized hospital room and exhaled loudly. The bed and the cabinet have been removed and Tatami like mats littered the floor. The utensils for the ceremony were prepared and stood on their respective places. The sweets stood in the hospital kitchen. The host usually prepars them in the morning or the day before the ceremony. But that wasn't really possible right now. The complete room has been cleaned again. It should be as real as possible for Shizuru. Natsuki even managed to organize (she just hired them) some guests. They should be here soon too..

A loud knock broke the blunette from her thoughts and she whipped around, opening the door.

"Hey Natsuki, I just came here to see if you are ready, Fujino-san is going to come over soon."

The biker gave a short nod to the nurse in front of her "that's alright, is she still inside her room?"

The woman in front of her checked her wrist watch and nodded.

"Good. I'll go and get her. I have to give her something before she comes here."

The nurse in front of Natsuki lifted an eyebrow. "Give her something? What?"

The blunette smirked and shock her head, she knew most of the nurses here since she was a kid and they always had been helpful to her.

"You are really curious, you know. I'll see you later." with that, she stepped around the stunned woman and left the room to get her present for Shizuru.

Five minutes later she stood in front of the chestnut haired girls door and knocked. She heard shuffling and after a few seconds a polite "please come in." Natsuki entered and hid the package behind her back.

Shizuru sat on the edge of her bed and looked up, locking eyes with the biker.

"Hey." the blunette said softly "are you ready?"

Shizuru smiled and stood up "yes."

Natsuki couldn't help but notice that everything the girl does looked really graceful. "Great. I uh, have something for you. I thought that maybe, you know, now that you are holding a tea ceremony, you should be wearing the right thing. Soo.. I got you this. I hope it fits, I didn't know the size.." she revealed the package behind her back and gave it to Shizuru, looking anywhere but the brunette in front of her.

"Thank you, Natsuki."

The blunette felt the gift disappear out of her hands and slowly turned her gaze back to the girl in front of her. Shizuru carefully removed the paper and revealed a purple cloth.

"Is that?.." Shizurus eyes searched Natsukis and the biker scratched the back of her neck.

"A kimono? Yeah.. I- I just thought that, you know, as I said, that it would be more real if you had one. I thought the colour would look good on you.." the blunette found that the floor once more was very interesting.

Because of that, she missed the smile that appeared on Shizurus face.

"Thank you. I had one like this when I was little, my mother gave it to me. I really appreciate and it."

Natsuki looked up again and followed Shizuru with her eyes as she moved to the hospital bed and laid the kimono down, preparing everything to put it on. When the brunette started to remove the sports jacket she was wearing, Natsuki turned around and headed for the door, wanting to keep the girls privacy.

"Wait. Would you mind helping me? It's a little difficult to put it on on my own. It's been a long time since I last wore one."

The biker inhaled deeply before turning around and smiling slightly. "Sure, no problem. You just have to tell me what to do, I never wore one of these, so I don't know anything about it."

Shizuru smiled and turned around, her back now facing Natsuki while she started to remove her tracksuit bottoms. "Don't worry, I will tell you what you have to do. It's not that much."

Natsuki turned around once more and waited until she got the okay from Shizuru that she was decent again.

"I am ready, you can turn around now."

The blunette followed the command and stared at the girl in front of her. She wore white short sports bottoms and a white top. Natsuki couldn't help but admire the figure in front of her. She never saw the girl with that amount of clothes.. Formfitting too.. The biker had to admit that Shizuru really had a great body, even though she didn't do sports or anything like that.

Natsuki cleared her throat and looked into twinkling crimsons "so uh, what should I do?"

"Could you help me into the kimono please? Just hold it up."

The blunette stepped forward and carefully lifted the silky material, stepping behind Shizuru while doing so. The brunette carefully and gracefully all at the same time slipped her arms through the purple cloth.

"Thank you." Shizuru held the kimono around her body and looked at Natsuki.

"Could you bring me the.. Rope.. please?"

The biker nodded and picked up the said item. "What do you do with that?"

"You have to wrap it around me, here." Shizuru held her index finger to her mid-section underneath her chest. "It's holding the kimono in place and prevents it from opening or falling off."

"Ah, I see.. Can I wrap it around the way I want or do I have to follow something while doing so?" The blunette stared at the garment in her hands and casually stepped back to Shizuru, lifting her gaze to meet intense crimsons. Her hands shook for a second before a clammy feeling covered her palms when she realized how close the other girl was.

"I'm- ah.. Could you, you know, lift your arms? It's.. a little difficult to wrap it around you like this." Natsukis gaze drifted from Shizuru to the floor and back repeatedly while waiting for an answer.

Light chuckling could be heard and the bikers head shot up again. "What's so funny?"

"The kimono is going to fall open when I lift my arms, silly."

"Oh!" A tint of red crossed Natsukis cheeks and she looked down once more "I-I knew that!.. No, wait, I didn't! Gah! Whatever! How am I supposed to wrap this thing around you now?!"

The chestnut haired girl laughed at Natsukis utterly cute behavior. After a few seconds, the laughter stopped and Shizuru smiled warmly at the blunette.

"Slip your arms around me, it is best if you keep the Himo straight and don't bring any twists or turns into it. It has to go around me twice. You tie it in the front."

Natsuki straightened the Himo and carefully removed the twists. She slipped her arm through the one Shizuru held the kimono with and leaned in closer to grab the other end of the cord while she tried to avoid as much contact as possible. When she felt the other end in her hand she repeated the action and cautiously pulled it to Shizurus front and held both ends in front of her. Grinning victoriously when she saw the result of her work. No twists and it sat exactly where Shizuru wanted.

"Thank you, Natsuki. Could you tie it please? I will make sure that the kimono stays in place."

The blunette nodded and bent down a little to see better, unaware of the curious crimsons following her every move and the slight intake of breath as her fingers grazed the other girls stomach a few times while tying both ends into a bow.

"Okay. Is this enough? Or should I've done it a little looser?"

"No, it's fine. Thank you." the brunette answered while tucking the ends of the Himo underneath itself.

"Could you give me the obi please?"

Natsuki raised an evebrow and stared at Shizuru "Obi? What the heck is that?"

Crimson widened a little at the bikers question "you really never wore a kimono before.."

The blunette laughed while walking back towards the hospital bed "'told ya."

"I'm sorry, I thought you were joking back then."

"Don't be" Natsuki still laughed a little while her eyes scanned the bed to find what Shizuru possibly requested from her "I once screwed up a lot more.. Really, I think that's been the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me." she chuckled and turned around, catching Shizurus eyes.

"I saw a woman carrying baby stuff on the road. She was around eight months pregnant and really had trouble to carry everything. So, I went there and offered to help. She really was grateful. We walked in silence for a while until I asked her how far along she was exactly.."

The biker trailed off and stared into nothing for a second, remembering the scene.

"What happened?"

"It turned out that she wasn't pregnant at all.."

Silence engulfed the room for a few seconds and Natsuki thought that it would kill her any second now until she heared the melodic laughter of another person. Her gaze flew up and she saw Shizuru. The girl had tears in her eyes and covered her mouth with one hand while holding her stomach gracefully with the other.

"I can't believe.. something like this happened! But.. whom did she buy these things for?" the brunette spoke during the laughter.

A small smile crossed Natsukis face as she saw the shoulders of the girl in front of her jump up and down while she tried to stop her laughing. A tear escaped her eyes and Natsuki stepped forward and lifted her hand, wiping away the offending object. She didn't even realize that she did it until Shizurus laughter stopped, looking wide eyed at the blunette in front of her. Natsuki stepped back and stared at the wall, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Her friend.. She promised to get everything while she rested at home. She got out of the hospital a few days before and didn't regain her full strength yet.. So, she volunteered and I ended up helping her while embarrassing myself and her at the end. I'm glad she wasn't angry. She even laughed a little after a minute.. But gosh, that moment! Okay. Enough about my embarrassing self. What else do we have to do until this thing is ready?"

The biker saw a small movement and turned around again, her gaze following Shizuru as she moved closer.

"You are still holding the obi. It is the last thing we need to put on before we are ready."

"Okay. Do I have to put it around you like this rope-thing before?"

A smile appeared on Shizurus face "rope-thing?"

Natsuki shifted her weight and waited for Shizuru to continue, ignoring the tease.

"Yes, and no. You have to wrap it around me like the Himo. I am going to hold one end up to my left shoulder while you wrap the obi around me twice. Then we are going to tie it to a bigger bow in the front, turning it to the back afterwards."

Natsukis eyebrows furrowed as she tried to understand what exactly the girl in front of her wanted to do with one end at her shoulder. But hey, she said that she knew how to wear a kimono. I'm only the little minion who's helping her to put it on. She stepped in front of Shizuru again, their faces only inches apart, breath mingled together and eyes meeting for a brief second.

The blunette cleared her throat and her arms went around Shizurus body, it almost felt like a gentle hug. She wrapped the cloth around the chestnut haired girl twice and held one end in front of her.

"Done. What now?"

The sick girl stepped back a little and took the end that rested in Natsukis hand in her own.

"I can do the last part on my own, thank you very much for the help. And thank you for the kimono too, I really love it."

Natsuki watched as the girl skillfully tied the obi in front of her and turned it around, so that the bow sat on the back.

"You're welcome. I think your guests are here soon, we should go."

The biker offered her arm to Shizuru and the girl elegantly slipped her hand through it, resting her palm on top of the leather on Natsukis biceps.

"If you'd follow me please, ma'lady" the blunette said, trying to imitate an accent she heard somewhere before - but failing miserably. Shizuru played along nonetheless.

"I hope you aren't going to kidnap or harm me, mister."

Natsuki turned her head and looked at Shizuru, raising an eyebrow.

"Mister? Really? I'm a girl too, you know." she tried to sound offended while opening the room door and leading her companion through.

"Oh, forgive me. That must have slipped my mind. I hope you aren't offended, miss." The crimson eyed girl smiled sweetly and the blunette watched her with a small smile of her own.

"You know what? Keep the mister. Miss makes me sound so old!"

Natsuki saw that Shizuru eyed her for a second, thinking about something. After a minute, she spoke up.

"I couldn't even agree with you, you never told me how old you are."

"You know that you aren't allowed to ask a lady something like that, do you?" Natsuki tried to mock Shizuru.

"Ara, and here I thought you were a 'mister'."

Natsuki looked at the wall beside her "I-Idiot." She heard light chuckling beside her as they walked down the corridor.

A few minutes passed like that, both staying silent.

"Nineteen. Turning twenty soon."

Shizuru looked up "excuse me?"

"I'm nineteen, but I'll become twenty in about a month."

"I see. Thank you. I will be twenty-one this year."

They continued their way in silence, until Natsuki stopped and Shizuru looked up to see why.

"We're here. I prepared everything in there. I hope you're okay with it the way it is.. It's not fancy or anything. I wasn't able to arrange everything like the original tea ceremonies, but I tried my best. So, welcome to your tea ceremony, Shizuru."

With that the blunette opened the door and led the older girl through. The brunette studied the room and Natsuki moved from one foot to the other, trying to ease her nerves. Her eyes followed Shizurus every move. How her fingers traced the utensils that stood on a table in the corner, how she gracefully kneeled down to feel the mats on the floor and how her eyes closed. She wondered what the girl was thinking about because her expression became peaceful and a small smile graced her lips. She reluctantly broke her gaze away from Shizuru and pulled her cellphone out of her jeans to take a look at the time.

"Your guests will be here soon, you should start to prepare everything necessary. The sweets will be brought here too, I said that they should bring them around now."

The brunette opened her eyes and crimson met emerald.

"Thank you, Natsuki. You even invited guests?"

The biker scratched the back of her neck and sheepishly stared at the floor.

"I wouldn't say I invited them.. It's more like I requested the presence of a few people.."

"Even so, thank you. But where is your kimono?" The brunette stood up again and looked around the room once more "I can't see it anywhere."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow and stared at the chestnut haired girl. "Why would I need a kimono?"

"Ara, so you aren't attending my tea ceremony?.."

The blunette noticed the slightly disappointed tone in the older girls voice and felt her stomach drop a little.

"I thought that, you know, it should be a real ceremony.. But I don't know anything about it except from the stuff I read on the internet.. I would totally screw it."

"That is not true. I would be really happy if you were there."

Natsuki looked down and took in her appearance. Black skinny Jeans with a few rips on her thigh and knee, a plain, dark blue v-neck T-shirt and her black leather jacket.

"I don't think that my clothes are appropriate."

"And I thought that it was my tea ceremony. I can say what is okay and what isn't. Would you please attend it?"

The biker sighed and run a hand through her hair "I guess.."

"Excellent! I-"

A knock on the door interrupted them, Natsuki checked her cellphone once more and realized that the sweets must be here. She spun around and shouted a "come in!" to the person behind the door.

"I brought your snacks." Yohko said while she entered the room and took in it's new appearance. "You really outdid yourself, Natsuki. Never thought you would be able to do something like this." The doctor placed the snacks on the table.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natsuki asked, feeling a little bit offended.

"Never mind, just a thought. I have to go, my patients are waiting. See you two later!" with that the short haired woman disappeared again.

"Really, this woman is going to drive me crazy.. I'll go and lead the guests here, it's time. You have about ten minutes to prepare the rest, see you in a bit!"

The biker nearly run out the door, she should have picked up the guests a few minutes ago. Way to start Shizurus tea ceremony!

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><p>Ten minutes later and Natsuki stood before the room where the tea ceremony was held. Three woman wearing elegant kimonos behind her.<p>

"I'll just tell her that you're here. Be back in a sec."

She opened the door and nearly bumped into Shizuru, who was about to open the door to greet her guests.

"You ready?" the blunette whispered, Shizuru gave her a short nod and opened the door fully to lead her guests into the room.

A few moments later and everyone was seated, kneeling calmly on the mats and waiting for the tea ceremony to go on.

God, I think my legs are going to kill me! How the heck are they able to sit like this and don't even flinch?! Natsukis thoughts ran wild and she tried to leave her face calm. If I'm going to complain or whimper or anything like that, they are going to think that I really don't have any decency. Craaap..

The blunette saw Shizuru walking over to them, a tea cup between her hands. She kneeled down in front of her and held the cup out for Natsuki to take. The biker bowed down a little and took the cup. She waited for Shizuru to go on and give everyone else something to drink. She then realized that a snack lay in front of her. I must have gotten a little carried away again to not notice that the sweets were handed out..

The rest of the tea ceremony continued like that and Natsuki tried to do everything the women beside her were doing and to not embarrass herself, or Shizuru, even more.

When the guests were gone, Shizuru closed the door and turned around to face Natsuki, a smile covered her face.

"You did great!" The dark haired girl exclaimed and grinned.

"Thank you, you did not so bad yourself. I hope that your legs aren't hurting too much anymore?"

"What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine." Natsuki crossed her arms to accompany her statement.

"I'm sorry, but I saw your face slip a few times. I really am impressed that you didn't say a word at all."

"Ah, I see.. To be true, I don't think that I could call this flesh and bone mush down there legs anymore.. So, would you help me get up now? I don't like to sit like this a second longer, but I really can't move these stupid things!"

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><p>Chapter 5! Leave a review, that's going to make me update a little faster - every author should know why ;)<p>

Chapter song: **Freelance Whales - We Could Be Friends**

_I am convinced that we could be friends_  
><em>We have several interests in common<em>  
><em>In common<em>

_And I am convinced that we have been friends_  
><em>Were you a Tahitian grain of sand<em>  
><em>In a past life?<em>

_Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends_  
><em>Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends<em>

_I am convinced that we should be friends_  
><em>We compare our hearts to things that fly<em>  
><em>But cannot land<em>

_Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends_  
><em>Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends<em>

_Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends_  
><em>Please don't put your fret into the ways we could be friends<em>

_Please don't put your face into your hands, we could be friends_  
><em>I can count the ways on my two hands, we could be friends<em>

'Til next time, love you guys! :)


	6. Chapter 6

_I wanted to upload the chapter yesterday on Natsukis birthday.. But it wasn't long enough.. So I have to say it a day too late: Happy birthday Natsuki ;)_

I just watched the fault in our stars.. And I think I'm crying like 30 minutes now and still start to sob every now and then.. I think it would be somehow wrong to say that it was a 'good' movie. But it was. I really recommend you to watch it. But don't forget the tissues..

**Warning:** A lot of cursing

**Important:** The story is processing a little slow, I know. But I want it to be that way. I want you to understand them completely. I want you to be able to feel everything they feel. And I want their relationship to be real. No falling in love at first sight. They have to learn about each other. The problems, the fears, but most of all the love. They are both struggling with themselves. And we have to see where that takes them. I hope you don't mind!

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><p>She liked it. She <em>liked<em> it! I did something right! Natsuki smiled and examined the girl on the hospital bed in front of her. The tea ceremony ended a few hours ago and they went back to Shizurus room. Natsuki helped her to change back into her clothes and they settled down into a comfortable silence.

"What are you thinking about?"

The accented voice broke the bikers thoughts and the blunette cleared her throat, still smiling a little.

"I just thought about before. I'm glad you liked it.. Which reminds me, what is the next thing on your list? Did you actually start to write one?" The younger girl stood up and walked to the chestnut haired girl, taking a seat beside her on the chair.

Crimson stared into emerald for a second before Shizuru turned around a little, her back facing Natsuki. The girls hand slipped underneath her pillow and she pulled a slightly crumbled paper out, staring at it for a second before handing it to the blunette.

"I started it today.."

"Thanks. Let's see.. Anything you want to start with? I mean, you want to do next, 'cause we already started.." The bikers eyes scanned the page and she looked back up when the other girl didn't answer. Shizuru stared at the sheets and let her eyes travel up to meet Natsukis gaze after a few seconds. The crimson eyes looked clouded and the older girls knuckles turned white. The blunette frowned a little and laid her hand on top of Shizurus.

"What's the matter? You seem upset.. Did I do something? Should I.. Should I leave? I'm sorry.."

Natsuki stood up and scolded herself internally. Why. Just why do I have to screw up every fucking time?! The more I try, the less is working! God, I'm so stupid.. Why did I ever-

"Please don't! It's just.. I am sorry. Would you stay a little longer? Please. I really enjoy your company."

The biker felt Shizurus fingers around her wrist, holding her tightly. The brunette didn't even realize that she held on to the other girl. Natsuki turned around and gently placed her hand on top of the one around her wrist.

"Of course. I kind of overreacted a little.. lot."

The older girl still held onto the blunettes wrist and Natsuki stared at her chair for a second. She definitely couldn't sit down with Shizuru holding her like this. She glanced at the other girl and carefully freed a part of the hospital bed from the sheets, without disturbing the brunette. Pleased with her work she sat down on the edge of the mattress and placed her hands in her lap, covering the one holding her with her free one. Her thumb wandered across the soft skin of Shizurus hand, drawing small patterns. She hoped the action calmed the sick girl down a little.

The fingers holding her tightly relaxed a little with every stroke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the biker asked after a while, trying to understand what happened inside of Shizurus head.

The brunette tensed for a second but relaxed just as fast. Natsuki saw her glancing at their hands before meeting her eyes.

"It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not, not for you. I have to know you a little better to complete the list with you. I'm just able to make you happy when I know the things I am allowed to do and the things I should be careful with. The things you don't like."

The chestnut haired girl slowly retreated her hand out of Natsukis and linked her fingers with her own hand.

"No one ever tried to make me happy, really happy. My family is always there, trying to protect me and keep me safe. I appreciate it, I really do. I understand that it must be hard for them to see me like this, knowing that I could be dead tomorrow. But I don't want to be kept inside a.. cage. That is why I wonder.. Why do you care so much? What is it that made you help me? You don't even know me, and here you are."

The biker thought about the question for a while, her eyes travelling through the hospital room until meeting Shizurus again.

"I don't know."

The brunette frowned a little at that statement.

"You don't know? There has to be something. A thought, a thing that you saw, something that I said.."

The younger girl sighed and pulled her left leg up onto the bed, propping her right thigh over her calf.

"I really don't know. It was kind of a 'on the spur of the moment' thing. I thought that it must be really boring. Laying in here all day, doing nothing. And Mai told me to get to know you.. So, why not? That's the best way to get to know you. And you are going to do the things you always wanted to. It's a win-win situation, don't you think?"

Shizuru stayed silent for a second before she looked down once more.

"Because Mai-san told you to? I see.. I think I am a little tired. It has been a long day, after all."

The girl laid down and turned around, her back facing Natsuki. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and turned the light on the bedside table off.

"Wha- No! I didn't mean it like that Shizuru. It came out the wrong way!"

"It's okay, I understand. But I really am tired, Natsuki. Could you please turn the light off when you go?"

The blunette screamd at herself inwardly while standing up and gathering her things.

"Sure.. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Shizuru."

"Goodnight."

The door closed behind the biker and she slumped against it with her back. Why was it so fucking difficult to just talk with someone without hurting them?! She told Mai, she told her she wasn't good with this stuff. Screw it, she wasn't good with people. No, she wasn't good with everything that breathed on this damned planet. She really should be forbidden to go near people. Every time she did, it ended with someone being hurt, angry or dead..

"Fuck it."

Natsukis right hand balled into a fist and slammed against the door behind her. She in- and exhaled deeply a few times before running her hand through her hair. She wanted to step away from the wood she was leaning on when it gave out and she fell backwards. Her instincts kicked in a little to slow and she was only able to catch herself with her elbows. She felt her teeth crash together and pain shot through every bone. She let the upper part of her body lay down too and closed her eyes. What the heck just happened? Her eyes were closed and she tried to catch her breath, because the fall knocked quite a lot of air out of her.

"Natsuki? Are you okay?"

Soft fingers carresed her temple and she opened her eyes, staring into concerned crimsons.

"I'm fine, thanks. What happened?"

The brunette averted her eyes for a second and knelt down beside the girl on the floor.

"I heard something bang against my door and came to take a look. When I pushed the handle, it opened and you fell in. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. But umm.. could we, you know, get up? It's kind of emberrassing to lie on the floor like this."

"Of course."

The brunette stood up and offered Natsuki one of her hands. The biker took it and once again relished in the soft and warm feeling of Shizurus hand.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. But are you sure you are alright? Your fall looked really painful.."

"Nah, as I said, everything is fine. See?"

The blunette twisted her body and stretched her arms to accompany her words. When she straightened her right arm, pain flared through her bones and she winced a little, dropping her arm. Shizuru gently grabbed the hurt limb and started to examine it.

"Tell me when and where it hurts."

Natsuki did as she was told and after a few minutes of convincing Shizuru that her elbow was just sprained, they fell into an awkward silence.

"Would you like to sit down with me again?"

Shizurus question threw Natsuki off guard and she just nodded, following the chestnut haired girl back to the hospital bed. She sat down on the chair and the silence continued.

"Do you want to stay here for the night? I don't want you to drive home with your arm in the dark."

Natsukis head shot up and her eyes met Shizurus. She was about to refuse when she saw the concern in the older girls crimsons.

"I told you that I'm fine.. But I guess I could. I don't want you to worry all night, you need your sleep."

The blunette stood up and walked back to the door to turn the lights off again. She waited until Shizuru laid comfortable enough and walked back to the couch. Using her jacket as a blanket, the biker fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p><em>It rained heavy, water dripping everywhere.<em>

_The small midnight haired girl stood at the end of the yard and watched the elegant black coffin being carried into the cemetery._

_There only were a few people. Most of them doctors from the hospital her mother worked at._

_She felt the water running down her cheeks turn hot as her tears mixed with the rain. Her hands balled to fists, she watched every move the coffin made. _

_If she would have been faster, if she just would have hurried up.._

_She was the only one able to help her, she had been there! Her mother told her to hurry and get help.. But she was to slow. _

_The moment the water crashed through the window, panic overtook her. She desperately tried to get to the surface. It felt like an eternity passed until she felt the soft warmth of the sun against her skin. She spun around, frantically searching for her mother, screaming for help. Nothing. A few bubbles came up beside her, but that was the only response she got. No one was there. No one could help her. Her mother was alone down there in the dark. She must have been so afraid.._

_The young girl took a deep breath and dived down again, trying to get back to her mother. The cold water pulled at her clothes, bringing her deeper into the sea. Welcoming her with open arms. She had to come back up after a few meters, gasping for air._

_She didn't know how long she tried to get back to her mother. She just remembered that it was completely dark when two strong arms pulled her out of the water and wrapped her into something big and dry, holding her in place as she tried to get back into the sea._

_"NO! Let me go! I have to help her! She's still down there!"_

_The arms only tightened their grip and the young girl struggled even more._

_"Stop it! Please! I beg you!"_

_She started to cry, her whole body trembled. She slapped at the arms around her, why didn't they do anything?! They had to help her!_

_"I said stop it! Let me go!"_

_She turned around to look at the person holding her back. She met the eyes of a police officer. The look told her everything she needed to know. Everything she didn't want to know. It can't be.._

_The girl turned around and stared at the silent sea. It seemed peaceful. But she knew better. It was a monster. A monster that disguised itself as one of the most important things on earth, flowing endlessly. It was everywhere, watching your every move. Until it striked and pulled you down. Holding you with it's cold claws. The sea chose if you are able to break free, or if you are spending eternity with it together. _

_Her struggles died down and her knees gave out. She collapsed to the ground, her small hands gripping the side of the boat she was on. One hand loosened it's hold and she stretched her arm out, grabbing nothing but air. The hand began to shake and fell down slowly, hovering over the calm surface of the sea. She stared at the reflection of herself for a few seconds, before a tear made it's way down her cheek once more, becoming one with the water and destroying the image of herself._

_She lifted her head to stare at the endless sea again. She felt empty, so empty.. _

_It's like a black hole took over the place her heart sat at once. With one final cry, she gave in to the darkness surrounding her._

_"Mommaa!"_

* * *

><p>Natsuki shot up from the couch, sweat covering her body and tears streaming down her face. She tried to get up when she felt two arms around her, the biker started to panic but soon realized that the arms tried to comfort her. They didn't held her back.<p>

"It's alright.. You are save. I'm here.."

That was Shizurus voice. The blunette turned a little and buried her head in the older girls neck, clinging onto the shirt of the chestnut haired girl as her tears continued to flow.

"I'm not going to leave you, Natsuki."

The girl nodded her head against Shizurus neck, trying to compose herself. She felt the brunette stand up and gripped her shirt a little tighter, not wanting to be left so soon.

"Come. We are going to lay down."

Shizuru gently pushed her to the bed, sitting her down and kneeling in front of her, she removed Natsukis shoes and crimson met emerald. The blunette felt hands tuck at the button of her jeans and slowly nodded her head when Shizuru stopped and looked at her, asking for permission with her eyes.

The older girl carefully removed Natsukis pants and placed them on top of the chair.

The biker slowly laid down and Shizuru pulled the blanket up, covering her body. Then the feeling of warmth disappeared and Natsuki opened her eyes again, searching for the other girl.

"Shizuru?"

Alarm and panic rang with the word and Natsuki was about to sit up again when the bed dipped down beside her. She felt someone crawl underneath the blanket and relaxed when she smelled Shizuru. The blunette turned around to face the other girl and moved closer, resting her head in the nape of the other girls neck again. She didn't care about privacy right now, she was just happy that she wasn't alone.

A small smile appeared on her face when she felt Shizurus arm around her waist, pulling her closer, spending her even more comfort and the feeling of being safe.

"Sleep. I will be right here when you wake up."

The biker nodded once more and fell asleep to the warm skin and rhythmic beats of Shizurus heart.

* * *

><p>Thank you for all the reviews! I really love them, they keep me going :)<p>

**Guests: **Thank you! I hope to upload every two weeks with everything now.

**bubble_duckie** _(when I place a point between the words, your name disappears..I'll do with that)_**:** You are the first one to write a review to every chapter. Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it. Stay tuned :)

**Ottyo:** Definitely ;)

**RK:** Thanks :D Yeah, I like this side too. But you are going to see a lot more ;)

**MapleColours:** I kind of cheated there a little.. I watched a "how to wear a kimono" video. Because I knew nothing about it at all. But I learned a lot of things because of that. It was really interesting :) I hope I'll hear from you in later chapters as well! 

Chapter Song: **Writing Poems - Ludovico Einaudi** (Natsukis Flashback)


	7. Chapter 7

Hey! I know, it's been forever again.. And I'm so sorry for that! The next update is probably going to take just as long.. But I'll try to make the distance between the updates lesser and more regular. The magical word is "try"..

_I made it a little bit longer because of the delay, sorry again._

But I don't want to hold you up any longer, on we go!

* * *

><p>Warmth.. safety.. That's all Natsuki felt when she woke up. Her nose nuzzled into something soft and she sighed contentedly. She didn't want to face the real world just yet and kept her eyes closed. Something caressed the lower part of her back and drew small patterns. She tried to stretch her left arm and felt someone underneath it. One eye opened slightly and her body stiffened, a little panicked at the realization that she wasn't alone. Every feeling of safety was gone.<p>

"Good morning, Natsuki."

She knew that voice.. It was silk and a little accented. The, as she now realized, fingers continued to wander across her back and her eye caught a glimpse of crimson.

"Shizuru?.."

It was more of a question than a statement and the blunette pulled back a little.

"What?- How? I meant.. Why am I- we- Oh.. _Oh!_ I'm sorry Shizuru! I didn't mean to disturb your sleep and most definitely steal your bed. I'll get up-"

The bikers rant was cut off by Shizurus hand stopping her caress and laying flat against her hip. Holding her gently but firmly where she was.

"How long has it been since you slept through one night without waking up?"

Natsuki was a little surprised by that question and furrowed her brows. She thought that the brunette would ask her questions about her dream or say that everything was fine. But no, she had to surprise her yet again.

"I don't know.. A while, I guess."

The older girl searched Natsukis eyes for a second before pulling her hand back and sitting up.

"I see.. You should get up and dressed. I would like to complete another point today, if that is okay with you, of course."

The blunette squeezed her eyes a little and looked at the ceiling, thinking about the other girls question.

"Let's see.. I have school today, my empty apartment is waiting for me and my imaginary friend Bob definitely had something planned for me. I don't know.. That's really hard to decide, you know. I mean, look at everything I've got to do!"

Natsuki stared serious into Shizurus crimson orbs and raised an eyebrow. She held her gaze like that for five seconds before a smirk crossed her face.

"Of course I'm free. What do you want to do today?"

The chestnut haired girl smiled before her face turned serious again.

"You can not skip school because of me, Natsuki. Your education is very important."

"I don't really care. I'm old enough to know what's good for me and what's not. So, what do you want to do?"

The biker crossed her arms to accompany her point. Shizuru sighed and pushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

"If you say so.. I would like to go out for once, eating ice-cream and drinking coffee."

The blunette stood up and turned around, facing Shizuru again.

"Sure, that's fine with me. I just have to ask Yohko if you're allowed to go out and all, you know."

Crimson glanced down to Natsukis bottom a few times and Natsuki started to frown. Is there a stain or something?!

"Yes, that is fine with me. I will wait here and get ready. But.. You should probably put on some trousers before you get out. That could get very embarrassing."

Natsuki felt her face heat up and spun around again, her hands trying to cover as much as possible.

"Idiot! Why didn't you tell me!"

She grabbed the missing object and put it on as fast as possible, nearly falling over a few times while doing so.

"I just told you, didn't I?"

"You could have said something sooner!"

An amused smile danced across the brunettes face.

"You could have realized sooner."

"Gosh, you're unbelievable!"

With that the blunette walked across the room and stopped when her hand gripped the door handle.

"I'll be right back. Make sure to be ready when I'm here again."

Two elegant fingers moved to Shizurus temple and the girl saluted with a serious face before a smile crossed it once more.

"Yes, ma'am."

Natsuki exhaled loudly before opening the door and storming out of the room. The nerve of her.. Really, this girl! The biker spotted Yohko at the end of the corridor and slowed her pace, crossing her arms above her chest while putting her face into a serious mask again.

"Yohko!"

The doctor turned around and raised her eyebrows when she saw the blunette walking towards her.

"Natsuki? What's the matter? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just came to ask you something again. Is Shizuru allowed to leave the hospital for some time? I would like to take her out.. Drink some coffee, eat some ice-cream, stuff like that. Is that okay?"

The doctor took a look at her checklist and flipped some papers before she nodded her head a little.

"Yes, it should be fine. You have to be careful though. Don't let her get too stressed and don't let her leave your side. You never know when something will happen. Give me a call as soon as you think something is wrong, okay?"

The biker nodded and turned around, leaving the same way she came from just a few seconds ago.

"Thanks Yohko. I'll make sure that she's alright."

The brunette smiled and dropped her check list before she mumbled something, too low for the blunette to hear.

"I never thought you wouldn't, Natsuki."

* * *

><p>Natsuki visited Takumi for a few minutes before she got back to Shizurus room, leaving the brunette enough time to get ready and eat some breakfast. She inhaled deeply and knocked, feeling her heart speed up a little as the door opened and emerald met crimson.<p>

"Are you ready? I talked with Yohko, we are free to go." She smiled and held her hand out for the other girl to take.

"I think so.. Or would you say that I should wear something else? I was not sure.. I do not have that many clothes and I wasn't out in a few years. I mean, I have been outside, but never like this. Only to get from the hospital to the car, or something.. Oh god, do you think I look-"

"Shizuru, relax! You look great." The blunette never heard the other girl ramble like that. Sure, she only knew her for a few days, but she never expected the girl was even able to do so. She always tried to be collected and keep her cool.

A shy look crossed Shizurus face as she glanced at the younger girl.

"Thank you.. You don't look so bad yourself."

The biker raised an eyebrow and studied the brunettes face.

"I'm wearing the same stuff I wore yesterday and brushed my hair with my fingers."

"So? I still think that you look quite good. It's something called natural beauty, my dear Natsuki."

Said girl blushed and turned her head to the side, trying to hide the redness that spread across her face.

"Whatever. Let's go, we don't want to stand here until the day is over."

Natsuki felt fingers gently slide into her right hand as she walked down the corridor, leading Shizuru to the elevators. She hated them, but she wouldn't want to start the first trip Shizuru had in a few years with letting her walk down the stairs. She glanced to the side and saw the anxiety in the other girls eyes. She seemed to be completely calm, but her eyes gave her away. They twinkled with the happiness of leaving the hospital and the fear of what might happen.

They arrived at one of the elevators doors in a minute and Natsuki pushed the button to open them. A small "cling" sounded through their ears a few seconds later and the heavy metal doors slid open. She felt Shizurus grip tighten around her hand and stroked her thumb across the back of the other girls hand once.

"Are you alright? We don't have to go today, if you don't feel well."

"I am fine, thank you for asking. But it has been a while, so I am a little nervous."

Natsuki smiled reassuringly at the other girl and squeezed her hand.

"It's okay. And it's normal to be nervous, we'll take our time and you can try and see as many things as you would like to today, okay?"

With that the biker stepped forward and prevented the metal doors form closing again, her hand still held Shizurus and her movement tucked at the girls hand, setting her into motion herself. It felt a little like being pulled into the start of something new, something that would change both of their lives completely. Sure, Natsuki already organized a tea ceremony for Shizuru, but now the blunette felt like it became reality. She was about to show Shizuru a completely new life. A life that she hoped would make the brunette happy, and most of all bring her fighting spirit back. Sure, they had quite a long way to go until they got there, but everything needs a small step to start with. And stepping into the elevator was that step.

Natsuki pushed the '0' button and tried to keep calm when the doors closed behind them. She felt her hands become a little sweaty and hoped that the brunette wouldn't notice. When she thought that the elevator became smaller with every passing second, the doors opened again and she stepped out, closing her eyes for a second to calm herself.

"Natsuki?"

Shizurus concerned voice snapped her out of her trance and she smiled tightly at the other girl.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright? You look a little pale.."

The blunette had to smile at Shizurus question, she was the one who asked the same thing just about a minute ago.

"Yeah, I just felt a little sick. Must've been the sudden movement of the elevator. Besides, I'm always pale."

She winked at the other girl and started to walk again, pulling the brunette with her.

Natsuki felt Shizuru stop abruptly as soon as they went out of the front doors. The older girls eyes were closed and she inhaled deeply, feeling the warmth of the sun against her skin.

The blunette smiled and gave the girl a few seconds to savor the moment.

"Would you like to walk to the park after we ate the ice-cream? I'm sure you'd like the sun, trees and air. There are a lot of people too, doing all kind of things. We could watch them for a while, just doing nothing. But it would be different from the time in your room. What do you think?"

The brunette smiled and started to walk again.

"I would love to."

* * *

><p>They stopped a few more times before they reached the café. Natsuki had to show Shizuru a few things she thought were beautiful to watch. The fountains, where the brunettes eyes sparkled as much as the sun reflecting the water drops that sprayed across their path.<p>

A street musician, playing the guitar while his soft voice filled the alleyway. Her smile was breathtaking and so genuine. Natsuki couldn't resist her plea to give him some money after they decided to go on.  
>At some point, she wondered why she couldn't resist the other girl. Everything she did seemed so flawless, nearly perfect. Just being herself, the brunette captured the younger girl completely. And she didn't even know about the effect she had on her.<p>

"What would you like to drink? You said you wanted a coffee back in your room, but I think you should try some of their specials. They are really good!" Natsuki said while giving Shizuru one of the menus.

"Specials? What are they doing with the coffee to make it special?" The older girls brows furrowed slightly for a second, before she read the contents of some of the specials.

"That really sounds interesting. I would like to try one of these."

Natsuki smiled a little and studied her own menu. I should get something special myself.. Maybe she would like to try it? Oh! That one sounds interesting!

"What is Natsuki getting?"

Said girl tried to hide her smile while she closed the menu and laid the card to the side.

"You'll see when I get it. And, if you are going to ask nicely, I'll maybe let you try it."

An elegant, sandy brow rose slightly and Shizuru studied the younger girl in front of her for a moment before her eyes drifted to her own menu again.

"Fair enough." The brunette replied after a few seconds and Natsuki watched her reading the card with great interest again. The blunette saw a small smile cross Shizurus lips before her face returned to her usual mask again.

"Okay, I decided. Do you know if the waitress is going to come here or do we have to go to the counter and get everything ourselves?"

"Mhh.. Wait a minute."

The blunette searched the area for a waiter and laid eyes on a familiar face. Surprised, she muttered the girls name and stared at Shizuru in shock.

"Did you know she was working here?!"

An amused smile danced across the brunettes face and her index finger wandered to her cheek.

"No, I didn't. But I think that is just normal, considering that I only got to know Mai a few days ago, don't you think so, Natsuki?"

The blunette felt her cheeks burn and averted her gaze, scolding herself for being this stupid. She crossed her arms and stared at the table.

"Whatever." She mumbled "I'll go ask her.. Hey, Mai!"

The busty, orange-haired girl turned around and looked surprised to see Natsuki and Shizuru there before she made her way through the tables and towards the two girls.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Are you allowed to leave your room, Fujino-san? Natsuki didn't force you to go with her, did she?"

"Mai! Sometimes I really wonder what you're thinking of me.." Natsuki scowled at her friend.

"It's alright, Mai-san. I wanted to come here and Natsuki offered to help me."

"Oh, of course.. I knew Natsuki would never force you to come with her. What can I get you two?"

"Is that so?" The blunette mumbled, glaring at the waitress.

"I would like to try the house-special, please."

"Alright, what do you want, Natsuki?"

"I'll get one of these Choco-Caramel-Vanilla-Marshmallow ones."

"Noted. Be right back."

Natsuki and Shizuru sat in silence for a few seconds before the blunette broke it again.

"Are there more things you'd like to do? I mean, do you know what we're going to be doing next?"

"Yes. There actually is one thing I would like to do. Would it be too much of a bother if I am riding your bike with you? Just once."

Natsuki couldn't hold the smile that appeared on her face while she thought of her Ducati. She totally understood why the brunette wanted to ride with her. The feeling of freedom was amazing.

"Of course not. We could do that after we walked through the park, or tomorrow. Whenever you want to, just tell me."

Shizurus smile made her eyes sparkle. "Thank you. I would love to do it today."

"Sure, we are going to ride it in the evening, when the sun starts to set. But we have to ask Yohko first, I don't want to do something that could put your health in danger, you know."

"I understand. I hope that Yohko-sensei is allowing us to go."

Natsuki smiled at the older girl and squeezed her hand "I'm sure of it."

"Soo, here are your orders!" Mai placed a tray on the table and looked at them. "Is everything okay? You look a little pale, Natsuki."

The blunette retreaded her hand as soon as she heard her friends voice. She didn't know why, it was completely normal to comfort someone, but she's never done it before and being caught while doing so startled her.

"Nah, I'm fine, just a little thirsty."

"Then Mai-chan is going to save poor Natsukis day!"

One midnight colored brow lifted and emerald bore into violet

"Seriously?"

Mai grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of her head.

"Ehe-he.. Here are your orders! One house-special for Fujino-san and the Choco-Caramel-Marshmallow-Vanilla-Crush for Natsuki. Anything else I can get you two?"

"No, thank you very much Mai-san, we are good."

Natsuki just nodded and took a sip from her, what she thought, giant cup. It was hot, but not so hot that she burned her tongue. She swallowed and stared at the coffee for a few seconds before her eyes met Mais once more.

"That's awesome! Where did you- how did you? It's so good!"

She took another mouthful and savored the taste. The blunette placed the cup in front of Shizuru and smiled brilliantly.

"You have to taste that, it's delicious!"

Her head whipped around and she looked at Mai again.

"Have you ever tried this? Shizuru, what do you think?"

Laughter filled the air and Natsukis brows furrowed, confusion written all over her face. She looked from the girl beside her to the tawny-haired girl sitting across from her.

"What's so funny? Did I miss something?"

Twinkling crimsons met her eyes and Shizuru held a hand in front of her mouth to stifle her laughs.

"You are just so cute, Natsuki."

The younger girls bottom lip popped out and a pout grazed her face while she crossed her arms and turned her head away, underlining her words.

"I'm not cute."

"If you say so. I have to go back to work, see you two later!"

With that Mai disappeared into the kitchen once more. Natsukis cup was placed in front of her again and she looked up to see Shizuru smiling at her.

"You are right, it really is delicious. Would you like to try mine too?"

She lowered her arms again and took Shizurus cup.

"Sure."

Her lips met the cool cup and warm liquid made its way into her mouth. To her surprise, she tasted strawberry, chocolate and a hint of vanilla. It was good.

"That's good too. I think we should come here more often and try everything there is."

Crimson eyes lit up at her words and the brunette enclosed her cup with her hands again.

"That would be nice."

Shizuru brought the cup back up to her lips and Natsuki watched her. As the older girls lips closed around the ceramic, the fact that her lips touched the exact same spot just a few seconds before crossed her mind and she felt her cheeks burn up again as her fingers grazed her own lips. _An_ _Indirect kiss.._

* * *

><p>They left the café an hour later, strolling through the park and watching people walk by. The sun was warm against their skin as they sat down on a bench near a playground, watching children play.<p>

"Do you want some ice-cream? There's a man with a cart down the path, he's got two flavored ones."

"Yes, I would like some."

The brunette stood up to come with Natsuki, but the blunette laid a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"You wait here, I'll be right back. What would you like?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to trouble you."

Natsuki smiled and shook her head.

"You don't. So, what would you like?"

"If you could bring me some strawberry-vanilla please? I haven't had real ice-cream in such a long time."

"Of course, I'll be right back."

Natsuki turned around and jogged down the path towards the ice-cream cart. The day went well until now. I hope she's going to like the place I'm going to show her with my bike. And I hope that Yohko will allow it too.. She bought the ice-cream and returned a few minutes later.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in the park, watching children play and talking about all and everything. Shizuru told her that she would like to have children herself one day, but that her condition most likely wouldn't allow it. She dreamed of having her own house, someone by her side who loved her just the way she was. Maybe even have a few pets. Natsuki couldn't help the knot that formed in her stomach, she knew that she was able to have all that, but she didn't want to. No.. That's not right, she just wasn't worthy of it. No one could ever love her the way she was. She thought back to that sappy movie Mai made her watch once, Dear John or something like that. She too was one of those faulty coins, covered with scratches and a hole on the left upper half, never to be perfect again.

Natsuki showed Shizuru a small lake later that day, a rack went deeper into the water to their right and they walked down the wooden planks, settling down on the end and swinging their legs across the water. They didn't speak, but it wasn't uncomfortable. The silence comforted them and they just savored the moment.

The blunette crossed her arms behind her head and slowly let her back fall against the wooden planks. She gazed at the blue, nearly cloudless sky above them for a few seconds before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She smelled the wood, the lake with a whiff of fish, the reed and grass but most of all, she smelled Shizurus tea and flower scent. She opened her eyes again and looked to her left. There she was, propped up on her hands, her head raised towards the sky. The sun made her hair shine golden, she looked like an angel without wings. A soft smile made its way across Natsukis face and she sat up again, taking one last look towards the sun before she broke the silence and with that, the seemingly unreal scene in front of her.

"We should head back now, the sun is starting to set."

The blunette watched Shizuru open her eyes, they twinkled like rubies.

"Okay. We don't want to scare Yohko-sensei too much on the first day, but I would still like to ride with your bike today, if that is okay?"

"I told you we would do that, so of course it's okay. We just have to ask Yohko nicely."

Natsuki winked at the older girl and stood up, offering her hand to help the brunette. Shizuru smiled and took her hand. It amazed Natsuki every time how warm and soft Shizurus skin was and she thought, even if it was just for a second, that she could get used to that feeling.

* * *

><p>An hour later Natsuki and Shizuru stood in front of the hospital again, Yohko wanted to check on Shizuru before she allowed them to go. She told Natsuki not to overdo it on the first day and the blunette promised her that she would look out for the other girl.<p>

"Okay, I got my Ducati while Yohko examined you. You don't have to do much, just sit comfortable and hold on tight."

The brunette eyed Natsukis bike for a second before she came closer. The younger girl mounted her Ducati and held her hand out towards Shizuru, which eyed it carefully.

"Do you trust me?"

Crimson met emerald and the older girl inhaled deeply before her hand took Natsukis and she sat behind the blunette.

"I am just a little nervous, it is my first time riding a motorbike."

Natsuki squeezed the hand that lay across her abdomen and turned her head a little to look at the girl behind her.

"You don't have to be nervous, I'm with you all the time. And if everything ever feels off or if you want to stop, just tell me, okay?"

The blunette heard Shizuru hum in approval and handed her the helmet. When she was sure that it sat correctly, she kicked her bike to life and said Shizuru to hold on tight once more before she slowly made her way out of the hospital grounds. She felt the brunettes arms tighten around her midsection and smiled. When they reached the highway, she felt Shizuru relax with every minute they drove. At some point, the older girl placed her head beside Natsukis and said, just loud enough for the other girl to hear, one word.

"Faster."

The blunette smiled and willingly fulfilled Shizurus wish. The sun set in front of them and it felt like the world forgot to spin and time stopped for a few minutes. Natsuki was aware of the warm body that was pressed into her back and the arms that lay across her stomach. She closed her eyes for a second and burned that feeling into her head. Somehow, the older, always formal, teasing girl burst through her walls in only a few days. It was strange, really. She couldn't understand what was happening. Is it pity? No.. Pity feels different.. That must be what the call sympathy. I like that girl, and I want her to like me too. It is friendship, definitely, like Mai.

Natsuki furrowed her brows. It wasn't like Mai, Mai felt different. It must be the different kinds of friendships there are. Shizuru was another kind of friend, but which kind? I don't know, it's so confusing!

They reached the cliffs and Natsuki slowed down until they came to a stop on a plateau. The sun let the sky shine in orange, red and a hint of purple. The sea reflected the colors and the water looked like it was glittering. It was breathtakingly beautiful. They got up and Shizuru put the helmet down, leaving it on the bike.

"Wow.. This is beautiful, Natsuki."

"Yeah.. I thought that maybe, you would like to see a real sunset for once."

Shizuru turned to face the younger girl, the blunette could see tears in the corners of her eyes before she was brought into a tight hug by the older girl.

"Thank you so, so much for doing this, Natsuki. You don't know how much that means to me."

The emerald-eyed girl felt Shizurus breath against her neck as she whispered the words and goosebumps erupted all over her skin. Hot tears met her neck and already burning skin and she returned the hug just as tight.

"You don't have to thank me.."

Natsuki didn't know why she too whispered, but it felt like the right thing to do. She inhaled deeply for a few times and let Shizurus scent cover all her senses. If she would be able to choose, time could stop this instant, because she had everything she needed right there.

* * *

><p>That's it for now! I hope you liked it - leave a review to tell me ;)<p>

I'm grateful for everyone who's still following the story, thank you so much guys! I'll be reviewing to this chapter again.

**Chapter Song:** The Hush Sound - Momentum

You are the dark ocean bottom  
>And I am the fast sinking anchor<br>Should I fall for you  
>Should I fall for you<br>You are the scar on my tissue  
>That I show all of my new friends<br>Should I show you me  
>Should I show you me<p>

All we need is a little bit of momentum  
>Breakdown these walls that we've built around ourselves<br>All we need is a little bit of inertia  
>Breakdown and tell breakdown and tell<p>

...


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